Saturday, December 5, 2009

Are you a Nikki or a Brittany?

It has been a whirlwind of a quarter, and I cannot believe final exams begin in 2 days. I had several posts regarding Kellogg, some even mostly written, but for various reasons ended up shelving them. Tonight however, in lieu of sleeping, I wanted to post, but surprisingly, this has nothing (or very little) to do with Kellogg.

One of my heroes growing up was Nancy Drew, girl detective. I loved her fearless feminism and the thrill of the mystery, and at a young age I had wheedled my parents into buying all 56 volumes of the original mystery series. I quickly ran through them, and after multiple reads was still hungry for more, so I stumbled upon a spin-off series, also by Carolyn Keene, called River Heights. Although not about Nancy, River Heights was a young adult series about Nancy's hometown and next door neighbor, and I was quite happy to dive in. I was disappointed that Nancy Drew did not feature in the series, besides a few guest appearances, and instead of mysteries the books showcased friendships and romances. I don't think I ever read past the first few books before moving on, but I remember being fascinated by the description of the tangled relationships in high school, and it has certainly left an indelible print on how I chart my course through social interactions.

The series stars two girls in the same high school, Nikki and Brittany. However, besides sharing the same classes and the same love interest, all similarities end there. Nikki is the classic All-American girl. Born with a silver-spoon in her mouth, she has the perfect life, the perfect family, the perfect angelic countenance and sweet personality. She is of course, a blonde-haired blue-eyed beauty. Which isn't to say Brittany isn't attractive, because she is as well, with her dark hair and brown eyes. But Brittany's life isn't all that easy, and she has had to scrap and fight her way up the high school pecking order. While Nikki received a shiny new convertible from her doting father on her 16th birthday, Brittany secretly waitresses at a disgusting restaurant in order to afford a second hand clunker. Brittany is very much about appearances, and envies Nikki's life and schemes to steal Nikki's [perfect, All-American] boyfriend away from him.

In this fictional world, Nikki is obviously the protagonist. She is kindhearted and virtuous, and naturally very popular. Brittany is popular too, thanks to a combination of her clever positioning and strategic maneuvering. However, I have to admit I always had a soft spot for Brittany. I felt bad when her carefully laid plans went awry, for one reason or another. Furthermore, I admit to sharing righteous indignation over Nikki's life being so effortless. Brittany is certainly not evil - she never sets out to inflict harm on people, she is just trying to get what she feels she deserves. At the same time, she's not exactly noble either - she only ever really looks out for herself and frequently doesn't appreciate what she does have because she always wants something better. I always felt a little guilty for being sympathetic to Brittany's cause, because Nikki was such a perfect angel. Where Brittany tried to plan life like a chess match, Nikki never harbored ulterior motives, and yet somehow always managed to come out on top.

To this day, I am still torn between the two, and who I should be identifying with. I am still cynical over the feasibility of Nikki's model in my world - a world of networking, rubbing elbows, and angling for visibility. And yet, the thought of manipulating relationships is distasteful, and I think "shouldn't I just let things happen naturally?" Brittany tries so hard, and Nikki doesn't try at all, and I'm just really not sure where I should be along that spectrum. I'm not even really sure it is a spectrum; maybe it has to be one or the other, and by trying to balance I am in effect spinning my wheels and going nowhere.

This dilemma presents itself to me frequently. If I'm interested in a guy, what's the right course of action? Brittany would find out as much information as possible about him (in this day and age, probably use Google!), seek out to make friends with his friends, and arrange things so she would coincidentally "run into" him. Nikki? The guy was probably interested in her before she ever knew about his existence! Similarly with networking, Brittany is the one working the room, making sure to make an impression on key decision-makers, whom she has likely done research on already. Nikki is talking to the people enjoys and with whom there is mutual sincere interest. I don't think it's so easy to say that Brittany is the active one and Nikki is simply passive, because Nikki is the genuine one, she is hardworking and true to herself. Shouldn't that the way we all be? If you were friends with Brittany, you would never really know how she felt about you, or what she is trying to get out of you, but she is also the one who is always on the lookout for opportunities, calculating, and with a steely resolve to climb to the top. Surely that should be rewarded?

I aspire to be Nikki, but I wonder if the world rewards Brittanies. I aspire to be Brittany, but then I feel drained, jaded, and I'm not even sure if it's worth it. I try to balance the two worlds, but then I wonder if I'm succeeding at neither.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Just for Bryce

Since one really good friend (whom I've known for over a decade now, wowza) was asking me how I was, and I wasn't really sure I could adequately describe with mere words, I thought I'd use a graphical depiction. (yes, Orlando did it first)



Click through for a bigger picture. I don't really have a whole lot else to say.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

In my element

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.”
-- Albert Einstein

I've seen and heard many people comment, whether on Facebook, Twitter, or in person, on how a major component of business school is calendar management.

I will absolutely agree. In fact, I will put forth that the main activity, and the key to your success at business school is your skill and perseverance at arranging and maintaining your calendar. And just to be clear, people I'm talking Outlook and/or iCal, if you think paper is going to cut it you have another think coming to you. Don't even try it, I know first years who are finding that out the hard way.

So far, I'm keeping up okay, despite shooting myself in the foot last week (more on this below). I may need to reassess when exam time comes, but so far the mad pileup of events, including class, group meetings, social nights, and activities has been thrilling. Right before sitting down to blog, I experienced a moment of incandescent happiness in the middle of cleaning up after dinner, throwing in a load of laundry, sending out a group meeting invite, and examining my fantasy football lineup, just from the sheer joy of knowing I am being productive and that not a single moment is being wasted. Today, as I was griping at bent over my schedule being totally [rhymes with] ducked, he jokingly commented back, "whatever, you love it." Which, upon reflection, is not too far from the truth - of course I would prefer that my schedule is set exactly how I want and perfect, but at the same time there's something satisfying about making progress uphill, about being forced to work for it. Business school is special in a lot of ways - for most of us, it is the last time we can look inwards. It is the last time we can focus on developing ourselves; it is the last time we can start with a clean slate; it is the last time we can take a break from the real world (a la Girl, Interrupted); it is the last beginning of the rest of our lives. Being surrounded by so many smart, diverse, and talented people who are [for the most part] going through this same experience at the same time definitely pushes you to keep up, reach up, and make the most of everything.

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late....
Which is not to say it's all been smooth sailing - I am embarrassed to say that I have been one of those annoying "one step behind the curve" nincompoops lately, especially with regards to my schedule. I skipped past the waiver period, thinking I would cruise through my first quarter classes, most of which is essentially review material, in order to load up on the clubs & leadership activities. Then, two things happened to knock my plan on its butt: 1. I transferred to the MMM Program. 2. I bought the accounting books, went to the first class, and realized it was exactly the same stuff as I studied before. Of course, I'm not complaining about either, and they're also very related. I was fortunate to get into the MMM Program so late; I took a long time because I wanted to really research the program to find out if it would be the right thing for me. After bent planted the seed in my head, I talked to a number of 1st & 2nd years, emailed some 2nd years and alum (including people who had both transferred in AND out of the program), and got to where I was very comfortable with the idea before submitting my application. Of course then the application took a while to go through, with the end result my schedule was upended the first week of class. Furthermore, the loss of 6 electives also made me rethink my course selection strategy, and there was no longer any doubt over not wasting a quarter reviewing basic accounting. By this point the waiver period had long passed, and so I spent no small amount of time talking myself into being allowed to take the waiver exam, and then all of yesterday studying for it. I've also spent significant amount of time looking for a class to replace it with, ie. arguing with the registrar over me not being able to add into Marketing (because I've missed the first class); I then went to Spreadsheet Modeling today before the MMM director nixed that class. In the end, (assuming I obtain the waiver) I'll end up adding Microeconomics, after missing the first week. So not great, but not the end of the world. I think it's ironic, because I've never been the person to try to be "the exception to the rule," and I generally disdain the type, and wonder why they just couldn't get their act together in the first place. But business school will do that to you, and then you realize you've got to at least try. I've met with mixed results; there's a certain element of luck, where I've definitely been very fortuitous in some things falling my way (such as getting into MMM), but also I think I've mellowed a good deal these last few years. I remember when I was younger, I would come apart when things did not go as I wanted. I would assign blame heavily on myself and others and lash out like a wounded animal, unable to cope with the injustice of it all. I'm sure this is trite to many people, but I've realized the best part of aging is the perspective that comes with it. Now, whatever is the best schedule I can get, I'm happy to roll with, especially since I will have a very full plate regardless.

I'll take one of everything, please...
The last 10 days, we have been absolutely bombarded with emails and flyers, with club kickoffs and leadership position applications. I am still trying to control my FOMO, and have met with limited success in restraining myself. Here's a tentative list of my commitments (with estimated time reqs) so far:

. NBI Project Leader (applied, will hear back next week) 5 hrs/wk
. GIM Leader (interviewed today, encouraged to take leadership role for SE Asia trip, still under consideration) 4 hrs/wk
. Admissions Counselor (interview tomorrow) 4 hrs/wk
. Consulting Club member (moderate involvement) 1 hr/wk
. China Business Club (limited involvement)
. Operations Management Club (limited involvement)
. Design Club (limited involvement)
. Latin American Hispanic & Iberian Management Association (limited involvement)
. Asian Management Association (limited involvement)
. Section Flag Football Team (conflicts with Admissions Counselor)
. Tennis Club
. Los Angeles Entertainment & Media Trek Leader

Believe it or not, I've already trimmed the list significantly from my initial wishlist. I definitely have the "eyes bigger than stomach" syndrome, as we say in Chinese. So here are what I think are the next steps for me.

Learn to say no:
This is a big one. So far, I have mostly been accepting calendar invites as they come. But time is by far the most precious commodity around here, and I need to learn to budget mine wisely. It's funny, I think about how in undergrad I had all the time in the world and no will to study. Now, I yearn only for a few extra hours of wakefulness, so that I may cram my little brains out.

Remember to take care of myself and have fun: After tracking my time, it is blatantly obvious that the first thing that slips is things like eating balanced meals, exercising, and giving myself time to decompress. That just won't work; as a friend of mine so astutely pointed out, "Some people just have better genes." I am definitely not one of those people, who can stay up all night and be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next day. If I eat crappy and don't sleep, I will break out like a hormonal teenager, hurt like an arthritic old lady, and whine like one of those girls on reality TV. I sound so lame but I really cherish my health, especially after one of my good friends has recently been diagnosed with leukemia. I need to remember that nothing's worth sacrificing my health for, especially on days like today (when I went from 7am-1pm before eating anything). That's where this whole perspective thing I talked about earlier comes to play; it's true we're all Type-A and competitive, but in the end, I know the worst case scenario is I go barista at Starbucks and live a low-key existence, which when all is said and done, isn't so bad at all.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to work my calendar.

“Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.”

Friday, September 11, 2009

Mi.cro.man.age

I have several unfinished posts about the romp through paradise that was KWEST, the chaos, insanity, and madness that was CIM (really, they should rebrand it as that - Chaos, Insanity, & Madness) and the odd combination of intense pleasure and unsettling discomfort of being a student again, having my frameworks challenged and my cognitive processes pushed to their limits.

Instead, since I can't seem to get a single blog post finished before something shiny catches my attention (or more likely, I suddenly realize I'm behind on something else, yet again), I spent some time tonight thinking about time management. Today was a real milestone, the last day of CIM, and as such we have been granted a brief reprieve. We are still in the middle of a pre-term class, and there is much reading, homework, and studying to do but most of the other activities will drop off for a week before Fall term kicks off.

In the last 2 weeks, I have already experienced much of what has been documented by generations of Kelloggers before us: FOMO, piles of reading, endless social calendar, CIM-SARS (or CIM H1N1 as it was for us this year), group meetings that drag , and as a result my iCal has been bursting at the seams and I have felt frantic and harried. And that was just the first two weeks, when 79% of our activities did not matter! There has to be a better way, because that is definitely will not be sustainable when I have 4 classes + NBI + GIM leadership + consulting club + networking & recuriting + + +

I decided to budget my time, but I wanted to go a step further. Budgeting does no good unless I can compare against actuals (I've read many times that people are invariably surprised by what they actual spend their time doing) and then adjust either my expectations, my plan or my behavior. So I turned to the internet, and found a little time tracking tool that I can access from my iPhone at all times, I have put my categories in, and I plan to start measuring my time.

I have no idea how realistic this will be to keep up in the long term, but I feel I should at least give it whirl before classes start to at least see what my actual behavior is producing. Regardless of longevity, even if I can just get a week or two of data of how I spend every minute of every day will be eye-opening and motivate me to make behavioral corrections. Lastly, the budget was absolutely necessary; without solidly carving out time to exercise or maintain my network I know those would quickly fall by the wayside. If you are curious, here is my first draft of the ideal use of a 168 hour week:


Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Style

style |stīl|
noun
• a manner of doing something : different styles of management.
• a way of using language : he never wrote in a journalistic style | students should pay attention to style and idiom.

- excerpt from the New Oxford American Dictionary

The first time I heard the word "style" applied in a business context was also the first time I had been given meaningful criticism in the workplace and I remember feeling like I had been punched in the gut. My ex-supervisor (and current mentor) had said: "You are a star, but you need to work on your style. You are very impatient and it shows to your coworkers. Many times your message is accurate but your impatience gets in the way and you end up antagonizing the people you work with. Don't worry, you will get there - just relax and give everybody else a chance to catch up to you." I remember her also giving a few examples of my missteps and mentioning that self confidence would help improve my style. This was 5 years ago, but it has stayed with me to this very day, because it was as sincere as it was accurate.

Since then, I have tried to be a bit more self-aware, and a big area I have focused on and will continue to work on throughout b-school is this concept of "style." I am a strong believer that there is no one style that is the best; everybody is unique. Rather, the right style for you is one where you are comfortable in your own skin, one where you capitalize on your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. For me, the end goal is to communicate effectively. However there are many different ways to do this. Donald Trump may be the in-your-face authoritarian, but Meg Whitman has been described as "matronly," and using influence rather than force. I don't think you can say there is a "right way" or "wrong way," as both CEOs have achieved legendary professional success, but certainly one of the methods may gel more with you than the other. When I was an undergrad, I tried to shape myself into what I thought was the cookie cutter mold of a leader. I ended up feeling unnatural, and worse, unsuccessful. Rather than trying to force myself to act in ways I find contrived, I will concentrate on exploring and finding what works for me. I have no illusions that this will be a decades-long if not lifelong process.

Like I often tend to do, I have managed to write this post backwards, as what sparked this cogitation was a comment made to me last night, as we were passing stories back and forth over drinks. I have rarely heard other people use "style" in the same way as I do, but this definitely got me thinking:

Classmate: "----, your talking style is very much like an entertainer's."
Me: "Is this good or bad?"
Classmate: "It's very good."

Certainly the first time I have heard anything in this vein as an observation of me, and I'll admit to being really surprised. It just shows that often, your own views of yourself are as one-sided as others' views of you. I look forward to discovering out more about myself and my style in the next 2 years, and I hope my fellow classmates feel the same.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Laziness sets in

I was planning to write a short synopsis of my experience at Procter & Gamble's Marketing Camp, but fellow brand camper Tak seems to have done it for me.

I did have a couple of things I wanted to add though:

Procter & Gamble: Ever since I read "Built to Last," I knew P&G was a special company. The week-long experience simply reaffirmed it. The success of the company has been built on it's strong relationship with it's employees, and this bleeds through in every aspect: strong company culture, absolutely dedicated employees, commitment to training, etc...

Recruiting: Holy garlic-crusted steak Batman, did the stops get pulled out for us. It feels like we were on an all-expenses paid "best of Cincinnati" tour. There were steakhouses, sushi bars, martini clubs, and game nights; the company definitely spared no expense in making sure we had a good time. Obviously there was ulterior motive here; it is in their interest that we feel fondly about not only P&G but also Cincinnati (their worldwide HQ) but it was certainly an enjoyable week. I had forgotten that even as we as students compete, primp, and prepare to land a plum job, companies are also competing with each other to nab the cream of the crop.

MBA Preparation: The flip side of being wined and dined was a lot was expected of us as well. The schedule for the days of the week inevitably started at 7am sharp, and none of the days ended before midnight. It was a pretty good simulation of what b-school will be like, and definitely a kick in the pants that I needed to get back into gear. While there were many sleepless nights at the beginning of our startup phase, I'll admit the last few months after I submitted my notice were uneventful, as I mainly transferred work off my desk and maintained status quo. In Cincinnati, as we juggled scheduled events, mingling, case study, group work/presentation, and interview preparation I was reminded that the next 2 years will be flying by at a frenzied pace, and I need to be prepared for it.

A. G. Lafley: I still have a hard time believing that the (ex) CEO (but still current chairman) of one of the largest companies in the world took time out of his day to speak to 40 people who may or may not work for his company. It wasn't so much of a speech, as a back and forth discussion on leadership. He was very low key, yet undoubtedly a great leader and manager; I think I admire him more for being not the outspoken, charismatic stereotype, but instead quiet and even introverted (his words, not mine). In case you are interested, here are the 8 points he touched upon.

1. Know yourself.
2. Change is inevitable.
3. See things as they are.
4. Respect your consumer as boss.
5. Power of choices (strategy & execution).
6. Leaders develop and select co-leaders.
7. Leaders communicate.
8. Be yourself. Be comfortable. Be confident.

I don't think there's anything groundbreaking there, but it was obvious this man not only believes in but practices those 8 missives, and thus has found the success he has. It was very apparent that the head of P&G has internalized and then executed these fundamentals, as they pervade the entire company. Two of the key things I took away were 1) Between 1 & 8, it is much easier said than done, and yet there is nothing more important... always keep at it. 2) A plan is no good until it is executed.

Tomorrow will be my last day in Los Angeles; I fly Tuesday, so the blogging may be a bit sparse until I ... well, find a place to live, for starters.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Once upon a time a businesscow was eating breakfast and blogging

So here is the continuation of my post from last week, as I continue my liquid diet after having my (very last, thank goodness) wisdom tooth pulled out yesterday - I am surviving entirely on chocolate milk, pudding, and apple sauce for a few days.

I think a universal question that is struggled with by bloggers is how much of yourself to reveal on the internet. At the onset, anonymity is a comforting thought ... but while it is certainly safer to remain an amorphous blobby presence, one of my realizations last week is that much of what I would like to talk about would not resonate with others without them knowing a little bit more of my background. I have decided to share a bit more of myself, and will try to present information that will be relevant to the contents of this blog without spelling out my life's history entirely. I know this won't be finished in one-shot, but I will certainly give it a start now. Since one of my goals is to reduce rambling both orally and in my written work, without further ado I present some cliff notes of the modern businesscow to you below.

. I took a non-traditional educational path.
. The expectations placed upon me by my family and support groups are exceedingly high.
. I have a fear of homogeneity, which is how I ended up with a business degree.
. I am intensely ambitious.
. My work background is in analysis and operations.
. I postponed business school for 2 years to help my previous company get a subsidiary started up in China. It was worth it, a total life-changing experience.
. A core strength of mine, whether I like it or not, is my bicultural & bilingual knowledge combined with my international experience.
. I am a problem solver, a do-er, and am still learning to curb my impatience.

I also have a fear of being documented, which is why it has taken me now 2 days to finish this short post! However, hopefully now it will be easier to understand where I am coming from when I talk about things like my struggle with what career path I should go down, or my frustration at what I feel is the very disingenuous process of interviewing and recruiting (all future posts, I'm afraid).