candycornflakes

Google+ gets an A+

2011-07-05T17:26:00.000-05:00

On the surface, I am a bad candidate for Google+. For one thing, I was a slow adopter to Facebook, grudgingly creating my account only when I moved internationally so as to have a way to keep up with my friends. For another, I look like a walking advertisement for Apple, with my Macbook, iPad, and iPhone never far from sight. Finally, I am already absolutely overwhelmed by an incoming torrent of emails, twitter, and Facebook notifications, and the last thing I want is another fucking website to be checking.

Therefore, when my friend at Google sent me a "Field Trial invite" last month, I glared at the email and stubbornly ignored it. Then, predictably, early adopters such as Ben and Stephen -- no wait, sorry, that should be Ben and Stephen, found their way on the site and so I too, did the inevitable. Within 30 minutes of playing around, I can already say I am hooked and I hope it takes off. It's fast - the way Facebook used to be, before it got cluttered with plugins, addons, and ads. Unlike Buzz and Wave, it's well-designed, user-friendly, and it works. It has the potential to replace both Facebook and Twitter, and very possibly LinkedIn as well. In fact, if any sort of critical mass gets on it, then I will want the G+ bar wherever I browse - and unlike Facebook, Google can actually make this a reality in the short-term future. Furthermore, unlike Facebook, the privacy and sharing on almost every item you post is easy to understand and completely within your control.

In some ways, it's almost unfair. Lists on Facebook serve the same purpose as Circles on +, and I use Lists extensively. But by the time Lists were implemented, I already had over 500 friends. There is simply no easy way to go back through my friends and sort them into lists hours of tedious clicking. Facebook compounds the problem by purposefully making privacy settings obscure and difficult to control. On G+, every new friend gets added to the right Circle with no extra clicking. The process is fast and intuitive.

Also, Facebook kind of went about it ass backwards. It started as a closed environment, where people felt safe and secure posting their information. Then, with each major update to the site, privacy is loosened and a ruckus is raised by users who feel violated, but have nowhere else to turn. Now, there is an alternative, and everyone already knows Google's purpose is to serve up ads, so there's no big surprise there. I am glad Google has refused to give up on social, and they continue to take chances and commit to having a presence.

Facebook's strategy worked well for them, but every strength is a weakness on the flipside, and G+ does a good job of exposing those vulnerabilities. This will be a great battle between these two great tech giants - competition is always good for consumers. G+ is a pleasure to use, and I look forward to watching how Zuckerberg and Sandberg plan to strike back.

Favorite line from Colbert's speech

2011-06-18T21:46:00.002-05:00

Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next. And you are mostly just yanking ideas out of your ass as you go along. And like improv you cannot win your life.

Watch Stephen Colbert's 2011 NU Commencement Speech in it's entirety here.

Oh how things change

2011-06-08T18:49:00.000-05:00

Courtesy of my friend:

"At first people started talking to them selves, or at least it seemed that way, and then you realised that actually they had bluetooth ear pieces in - now I just saw what I thought was some one having an epileptic fit on stage, turns out they were playing a game on the Xbox using the kinect controller..

What a strange society it is that our kids are going to inherit."

Bye Bye B-school #1

2011-06-03T02:56:00.004-05:00

Rather than attempt (and fail) to give a comprehensive post reflecting on my 2 year journey in business school as it comes to a close, I want to first direct you to some great writing done by my predecessors and fellow Kellogg alumni, on "What it's for," and "Was it worth it?"

As I grapple with my last set of finals (likely ever) this week and slowly knock out my remaining assignments, I would like to blog more, as recently I feel I have let several fleeting streams of thought escape me by failing to sit down and work through them. The goal is to do a series of posts (titled Bye Bye B-school) so I don't feel so compelled to try to get it all out at once!

"There is no truth. There is only perception."
- Gustave Flaubert, 17th century author of "Madame Bovary"

Life is only a series of perspectives. Unsurprisingly, there are many perspectives to take on this very subject. For example, one aspect is that there are two sides to each story. Another is that the more you learn, the less you realize you know. My favorite wording of this is from Harry Kraemer, who describes that as you improve in something, you feel like you're going from a 6, to a 7, to a 8... but around the time you get to 8 or maybe even 9, you suddenly realize that the scale wasn't out of 10, as you originally thought, but instead 20. My personal learning has been around learning to let go the "one right answer" mentality I have held for the majority of my (Asian-learning-style inspired) life, and instead embrace the ambiguities, complexities, vagaries and downright messiness of real-world problems. Kellogg's group culture has been a strong antidote for me; we all know it is important as leaders to consider each individual perspective, but how many of us can keep that in mind when the discussion heats up and we know someone else to be wrong? When I believe I am right, I can feel my back arched and eyes flashing, and I will use angry rhetoric, extreme analogies, and an unrelenting cascade of arguments to prove my point. I can't pretend that I'm now suddenly a collaboration-loving snugglebunny in groups, but I do feel much more self-aware in group situations and cognizant that I need to take off the blinders. This applies not only to groups, but also within a company, realizing that there are different departments with different goals, or even within an industry, seeing how the different companies fit together because of different strategies. On the opposite end of the scale, in personal situations, I am much more aware of conflict, looking beyond the surface issues to diagnose the origin. Different perspectives can be traced to different values, experiences, or beliefs, and if conflict cannot be resolved outright than at least it can be understood and tolerated comfortably. This applies even to conflict within myself; when I am confused, or frustrated, remembering to step outside of my present perspective and find a new one is the surest route to getting back on track.

"Were I to wait perfection, my book would never be finished."
- Tai T'ung, 13th century author of "History of Chinese Writing"

There can be efficiency in "good enough." We hear frequently in life about the 80/20 rule. But following onto the previous point that there is no constant, when everything is only a matter of perspective, it makes sense not to commit yourself so far down one path that there can be nothing else. Because life changes. My perspective will change. My friends can attest to my tendency to veer to extremes, and one consequence is I either dive into something with 100% zeal, or if something isn't working out right I drop it like a wet rag. Just these last few days, spurred on by this article with great advice on what works in startups, I have begun seeing how this "good enough" principle can apply not just in today's fast moving tech world and software development, but my personal life and projects. This is not to say that things shouldn't be done properly, and I know my personal perfectionist inclination (shared by many b-school types) will always be pushing me to get as good of a product as possible. My goal is to stay motivated and committed on the war, knowing some battles will be lost along the way, and although I won't always get everything optimized, it will have to be "good enough."

This dovetails nicely into another lesson from Harry Kraemer: The job of a leader is only two-fold:

Prioritize
Allocate resources

Inherent in this definition is that not everybody is going to win. Some projects, some departments, will have to be "good enough." Again, this may be common sense, but business school helped drive this point home.

Every man builds his world in his own image. He has the power to choose, but no power to escape the necessity of choice.
- Ayn Rand, author of "Atlas Shrugged"

Make choices explicitly. So if we accept that life is a series of perspectives, and that a lot of the time we do not have the power to, nor should we try to, control everything, then what follows is that all we can control are the choices we make. Many times when we feel we have our backs against the wall, it is easy to forget that there is always a choice. Not seeing the choice and going ahead is failing to take into account the other perspective. Knowing there's a chance you may fail, but having weighed the consequences and making the choice explicitly, there are no regrets. I didn't mean to make this post all about Kraemer, but making explicit vs. implicit choices is something else that he drove home in his Managerial Leadership class. It is easier to make a choice implicitly, because there is an excuse if things don't turn out as planned. Making a choice explicitly can be scary, because it acknowledges that you have control, and there is a power and associated responsibility that comes with the control, where if things don't turn out as planned then it is your fault. Part of the problem is being able to differentiate a poor decision from a poor outcome; often in life there will be good decisions that result in poor outcomes. But only by making choices explicitly can we ensure that our actions are aligned with our values, that that what we're doing makes sense and is actually the right decision for us. Making choices explicitly forces you to anticipate the ensuing result, to consider the multiple perspectives, so that we aren't surprised by an outcome. So for example, it's one thing to tell yourself you're going to get around to mowing the lawn, and keep putting it off. It's another to recognize that yes, someone else could say you should mow the lawn, but that you are prioritizing going out with friends, cleaning the house, and other hobbies over it. Even if the outcome is the same (the lawn doesn't get mowed), by making the choice explicitly, rather than feeling guilt and anxiety over not mowing the lawn, you recognize that you have made the choice, and the consequence of the choice is an unmowed lawn. And if you don't have more important things that take priority over the lawn, then why the hell haven't you mown it already? No reason not to anymore, right?

Okay, that's it for now. Up and at 'em in 4 hours for yet another final presentation, whee.

Crap.

2011-04-03T20:19:00.000-05:00

On an independent study last quarter, the professor was unable to give me feedback during the quarter and now, after grading my final project, has given me the choice of

1) take a B now
2) make changes (estimated at 15-20 hours of work) to receive an A

Honestly, I don't have the 15-20 hours to put in this quarter. In fact, cost benefit analysis tells me clearly to take the B and to continue bailing out (ladling water out) rather than take on more water on an already sinking ship. I am going to sleep on it before responding, but I already know I will be making the changes. There is something wrong with my brain. This is why I wish I knew more about psychology, so I could understand why I make irrational choices.

There is no right answer

2011-04-03T01:01:00.002-05:00

I got really annoyed tonight because my roommate needlessly reran the dishwasher, even though the contents were already clean after I ran it yesterday.

While that is certainly laziness on his part for not checking, the hissy fit I felt like having was disproportionate to the offense. (Luckily, he is out, so I had time to calm down and probably now won't even mention it)

This either means 1 of 2 things.

1. I am more suited to live by myself (no doubts here) and I should in the future to maintain my Zen.
2. It is good for me to live with someone else, to practice putting things in perspective and thinking from another person's point of view, and I should get a roommate in the future to learn to be a better person.

Love how depending on your opinion and/or perspective, either one can be right. But they are complete opposites.

Productivity slump

2011-03-06T14:28:00.001-06:00

from xkcd, a nerdy physics and computer programming based web comic that I absolutely adore

I've been doing a fairly good job this quarter with keeping up with things, and so it was a little bit disappointing yesterday when I had my least productive day of the quarter by far. There were quite a few contributing reasons:

went out drinking on Friday night
the weather was crappy, automatically reducing motivation
had coffee with the ex - never a good idea if you want to focus on work
I cooked all my meals yesterday, which takes a substantial amount of time

But I think there are 2 primary reasons I am frustrated by how yesterday went.

I haven't scheduled any me-time. Even on days where I do no schoolwork, I usually am trying to tackle things off my to do list (including yesterday, when I went to get my battery replaced at the Apple store and then grocery shopping). Unsurprisingly, my brain just shut off yesterday and no matter how long I sat in front of the computer, I managed to find other ways to spend my time. The Making of a Corporate Athlete, a great article introduced to me by Orlando, talks about how just like physically, muscles need rest cycles between workouts to be order to grow and stay healthy, mental and emotional energy requires rest cycles to have sustained high performance. In the future, I am going to try to build in a full day of restoration every 2 or 3 weeks, devoted to something fun which I actually enjoy doing, which is preferable to spending a whole day unsuccessfully trying to work and constantly kicking myself for not being able to. Luckily, I have a few weeks of break coming up where I plan to do nothing but sleep, eat, exercise, and read. I can't think of the last time I curled up on the coach with a musty tome borrowed from the library, and that used to be one of my favorite activities in the world.
There are just too many frickin distractions. I am sorely tempted to delete my Facebook account. I was a late adopter to Facebook, only creating my account once I moved internationally so I could keep up with my US based friends. I can see the value in maintaining weak ties, but I think it has gotten to the point where I miss the days when friends would call each other up to find out what's going on, rather than just following & commenting on Facebook. It is far too easy to waste hours surfing through old friends pages and pictures, and similarly, as my Twitter stream velocity increases, clicking one link too often leads to me coming to my senses 45 minutes later, having meandered my way through an interesting online discussion on a current event or technological trend. Even my friends, whom I love dearly and cherish the opportunity to stay in touch with, chat with me on messengers with the inevitable result of losing focus on work. Now, the majority of the time I have been exercising self control by closing all extraneous applications, but when I am in a productivity funk like yesterday, it becomes a pathological impulse to let each distraction carry me away. The author of xkcd, in the above comic, talks about how he created not only a 30 second delay between loading of web pages and chat clients, but also restricted his OS so that multiple programs could not be run at once. This is a fairly hard line to take, but I can see the need and have yet to find my own methodology to truly take control of this issue.

Dean Blount & Kellogg's next 7 years

2011-03-01T14:48:00.003-06:00

Just got back from a lunchtime presentation by Dean Sally Blount, on her plans and thoughts on what the future held in store for Kellogg. I didn't take any notes, but from memory, here are my takeaways:

The new building is coming. It will be an ambitious undertaking, planning to cost ~$300M, with a target opening in Fall of 2016.

Kellogg's administration is undergoing a marked restructuring. As such, there are multiple senior management positions currently being recruited. One will manage all MBA programs, one which manages all career services, and another will manage all executive education ... all roles will report directly to the Dean. This is a marked change from now, where the full-time MBA program operates more or less separately from the part-time MBA program, and the career services are rather silo'ed as well. Basically, how it seems to me is the matrix (as far as reporting structure goes) is being rotated on its side.

Explicitly added as a reason behind the restructuring is the Dean will be spending a lot of her time on fundraising. A LOT. Therefore, it is particularly important for her to have a strong team of senior management.

Kellogg is starting the process of undertaking a number of strategic initiatives. For some reason, this always plays second fiddle to the building, but I feel this area is notably more important. Unfortunately, the timeline for this will extend 5-7 years as well, but Dean Blount gave her perspective on several topics here.

Improving/expanding Kellogg's core competencies, which she sees as:

Providing the best education for students
Creating the best environment for top professors to conduct research
Improving [my add here: sorely needed] alumni engagement
Leveraging corporate partnerships

Kellogg's unique culture, and how it can be managed to continue to be and grow as a competitive advantage
Having a truly global presence; as it is unlikely in the next few decades Chicago will be a top 10 city globally (unfortunate but probably true), determining the best way for Kellogg to have a presence in those cities
Consistent, meaningful, and compelling Kellogg branding

Here are my thoughts:

I've been reserving judgement about the Dean so far, and this was a great opportunity to see her in action, up close and personal. Here are my thoughts coming away from the session:

She is clearly passionate about her job, and this passion comes across when she speaks. This also makes her seem very genuine. This is a great plus.
It is particularly difficult for a woman to be a good public speaker in what is still the man's world of business, academia, and particularly business academia. She is undoubtedly smart, but as the face of Kellogg I hope her style improves to sound more cogent and confident. I hope I will have the opportunity to take speech coaching in the future, as if even the Dean of a top business school can use improvement (things like vocal intonation, sentence structure & flow) then I have a long way to go.
She has a tendency to make bold pronouncements, which follows along her passionate style. There were several times during the talk she looked to, referenced and apologized to the PR manager who was standing by, for treading on dangerous ground in relation to what is public knowledge.
She is looking to place bold bets on the future of business research and education in order to ensure Kellogg remains a leader of business education. I imagine this fact, along with her style, probably places her radically at odds with a large portion of what still remains a conservative (some might say stodgy) and risk-averse world of academia. I would be willing to bet that between floors 2-7 of Jacobs, she is an extremely polarizing figure.
She referenced the glory days of Dean Don Jacobs, and clearly hungers for Kellogg to be back on the cutting edge, as it was when she attended Kellogg for her PhD. This is likely the driving force for her need to shake things up. Whether or not she will succeed, it is far too early to tell, but I certainly am rooting for her.

Moment of uncertainty

2011-02-18T18:23:00.002-06:00

I started tweeting this, and realized it was way more suited for a blog post.

My last ever round of course bidding just finished, which leaves me feeling wistful and slightly anxious. There are increasingly more and more signs appearing indicating our time here at Kellogg is drawing to a close. As I read through the Facebook stream of people bragging of their 3-day-week schedules and minimum requirements, I realize what a contrast it is with my schedule, which will have 6 classes and the absolutely unshakeable need to audit a 7th. I'm also going to the gym multiple times a week, and just started a hip hop dance class. I maintain a firm sleep schedule of 7-8 hours a night.

I had coffee with a 2010 alum today, who told me she both admires and feels sorry for me, for taking on so much. She couldn't understand it - she spent her Spring quarter drinking wine and hanging out with her friends, a situation I'm understandably envious of. I, on the other hand, seem to have chipped away at my social life down to the occasional dinner or party, and I've given up on rebuilding a tolerance to alcohol. The fact I'm writing this during TG is probably a sign.

I enjoy people. I like making friends, and spending time with them. But I also have this overpowering need to achieve, to make something of myself. I remember when I was in college, taking a full load of classes through 4 straight summers in a row, how everyone told me I should "stop and smell the roses." I didn't listen then, and sometimes, I do regret not taking the time to explore, travel, savor a little more. But yet, I find myself falling into the same pattern again now, 8 years later. I'm not even sure what it is I'm chasing so hard, I just know I'm running as fast as I can. If I'm honest, deep down I'm a little terrified that when I start my full time job, I'll get comfortable, fall into a routine, and stagnate, which is probably driving some of my current behavior. I just know this urge is so strong, it's not a choice - it's a compulsion.

And so I find myself facing another quarter of obsessively planning out my time in half hour increments. I can truthfully say I have succeeded in upping my productivity by ruthlessly cutting out anything I consider fat*. I'm going to try to make the most of my last quarter, by taking 6 or 7 classes, each of which I have discrete goals for. I'm planning on using Spring vacation as a health (and mental health) break, to eat right, read books, and work out every day. I'm also giving up my last vacation post graduation to take an intensive language class (8 hrs/day, 5 days/week). And it's only when I meet with other people that I get hit with a moment of uncertainty... is it really so weird to prioritize work > mindless fun?

*Note: Seriously, fun is NOT considered fat - I hosted a great Superbowl party, I have had dinner twice this week with old friends, I'm going to Charity Auction Ball tomorrow, and have a great weekly breakfast with a disreputable lot. Furthermore, I am also finding time for little side projects, ie. I've been cooking from scratch 2-3 times a week, which is really enjoyable. I guess in the same way Kraemer says we shouldn't let other people define success for us, I've stopped letting others define what fun is to me.

So yes, I have my moments of uncertainty. I have my worry that maybe I'm missing the point of business school, which is to create this far-flung, expansive network by going out with/getting sloshed with a constantly rotating set of people. But then, it passes. I came to business school to find a career. I still have no clue what I want to be when I grow up. Instead, I may have found myself. And that is infinitely more valuable.

the duality of acceptance

2011-02-09T15:47:00.006-06:00

(this post is one of my self reflection papers for MORS468 Managerial Leadership with Harry Kraemer, a class I highly recommend)

There are two traits that are universal among people. First, there is the fundamental need to be accepted by others. This can manifest itself in a variety of ways – the need to be included, popular, liked, respected, etc… but the underlying premise is the same. Secondly, there is an internal struggle for self-acceptance. One of the biggest surprises of attending business school is the widespread extent to which so many talented and accomplished young men and women suffer from low-esteem. Outwardly, everyone is brimming with confidence, but the majority of people I have gotten close to have expressed many self-doubts, the very same ones that I harbor and make me feel inadequate.

Humans are fundamentally social animals, which births the instinctual need to be accepted by others. This need drives people to change themselves and mold themselves to a certain image. This does serve an important function in society. It is the need to be accepted by others which drives the following of communal norms, such as ethics. But it is also this need which drives “peer pressure,” a term used almost exclusively in a negative context.

A great portion of leadership coaching talks about honoring your needs. After all, whether recognized or not, consciously or subconsciously, people spend a great deal of effort getting needs met. This is true of the need to be accepted by others. People choose how they look, walk, and talk based on perceived reaction from those around them. Even in this class, we learn to mold ourselves into better leaders, as based on the somewhat arbitrary definitions of others.

However, even as we are bombarded by messages to change ourselves to be accepted by others, we are also told to “stay true to ourselves.” In fact, a major aim of modern psychotherapy is to teach patients self-acceptance. Being kind to yourself means accepting yourself for the way you are – hopes, ambitions, strengths, weaknesses, flaws, warts and all. Herein lies the ultimate contradiction. We crave acceptance. How many teenagers, nay, even grown adults change their appearance, their personality, their life situation to win the approval of others? Yet we also need to accept ourselves – and that means as is. You can’t say, “I’d love myself if only I was 10 lbs skinnier” – that is almost certainly not true self-acceptance.

Is it possible to honor the need to be accepted by others while still accepting ourselves? Perhaps the most self-assured people can shrug off the pressure to conform to expectations, but how many of us fall into that category? The rest of us yearn to be a part of a group, to be admired by others. I think we do need to honor our need, to an extent. For example, this may involve changing yourself for the better, although what is considered better? Getting off drugs? Of course. Quitting smoking? Almost certainly. Losing weight? Perhaps. Getting plastic surgery? Now we’re getting into dicey territory…

At the same time, we should strive to be comfortable in our own skin. That means understanding that everything is a process, even self-acceptance. We should treat ourselves no better or worse than we would a good friend – being our own champion when we strive and our own supporter when we stumble, as people inevitably do. In an ideal world, we would be accepted by everyone, including ourselves. Unfortunately, in the real world, you will never be able to please everyone. You will also battle low self-esteem at some points. But the world is hard enough, without being your own enemy. We are taught that being a leader is about prioritizing and allocating resources. Why should acceptance be any different then? Prioritize and allocate resources against the various constituents for acceptance: acquaintances, friends, family, and remember, the number one priority for acceptance should be yourself.

2011-01-23T23:46:00.002-06:00

For the second time this quarter, it dawned upon me how much happier I am this quarter than last, and I think it is for several reasons.

- I feel like I am learning something from and am actively engaged in all of my classes

- I am sleeping 8-9 hrs a night, instead of 6-7

- I am moving on past a crappy relationship

- I give myself one day every week to be at home, alone

- I feel incredibly productive all around

- I am kinder to myself when I make mistakes

- I don't guilt trip myself (or am doing it less) for not living up to unrealistic expectations

What's amazing is I don't think I've taken on any less - I'm still taking 5 classes, one of which is a significant side project which just happens to be the most challenging thing I've ever done. I am definitely outside my comfort zone in a few areas, and am also giving up to 10 hours of case prep every week. But for some reason life just seems to be moving at a more manageable pace, where I am giving myself enough time to sleep and also focusing on getting discrete projects or tasks done. This makes me realize a few things - how much time I wasted last quarter tormented by a bad relationship, that I should dare to reduce what I take on because the benefits are tangible, and how important it is for me to find meaning in what it is I'm doing.

Part of being more self-reflective this quarter means (omg so fuzzy) being more in touch with my feelings, so I have definitely have had days of melancholy. Some of my best friends are on exchange this quarter, so I miss having them around and there's still lingering sadness over a few things I regret or wish I could change. But I am also filled with optimism - for example, one of the areas I have pushed myself in is networking with more people, both reaching out to strangers and staying connected with contacts from my past. The response, support, and advice I have gotten has been inspiring. I am glad I am taking the time to look inward because it gives me perspective, guidance, and the strength to face the outside world.

Random musings

2010-09-09T19:43:00.003-05:00

When I was young, I flew a lot. The only time I ever got scared was during landings, because I did not like the sensation of sinking lower and lower. Then, one flight, a nice gentleman sitting next to me informed me that I had nothing to worry about, because if a problem were to occur on an airplane, it was 5 times as likely to occur during takeoff than landing.

Now, I am terrified of both takeoffs and landings.

Cannot believe it

2010-06-03T00:31:00.002-05:00

That this is the last week of my first year of Kellogg. It is so unreal, and it definitely has not fully hit me yet. It's been a good (albeit busy) quarter, but I wanted to wish congratulations to all of the incoming class of 2012 and best wishes to all the 2010 graduating class who are moving onto to their next grand adventure, and even the 2011 who are off onto their summer escapades.

And now, some quotes I've been thinking about today:

A good deed is never lost. He who sows courtesy, reaps friendship; he who plants kindness, gathers love; pleasure bestowed on a grateful mind was never sterile, but generally gratitude begets reward.
- St. Basil (329-379, Bishop of Caesarea)

Renunciation is not getting rid of the things of this world, but accepting that they pass away.
- Aitken Roshi

If only I could throw away the urge to trace my patterns in your heart, I could really see you.
- David Brandon (Zen in the Art of Helping)

In the spirit of Patrick English

2010-05-06T00:01:00.004-05:00

I fucking love Kellogg professors.

And yes, the profanity is really necessary. I've never been more impressed by a bunch of teachers, who are razor-sharp smart, fun & entertaining, and genuinely care about their students. Now of course there is variance among the pool, but the number of professors who stand out at Kellogg I do feel is larger than average.

For instance, today, Schummer and McKeon, two Decision Analysis profs, gave a 2 hour long session on card-counting. This was not a theoretical exercise. These two professors actually frequent Vegas together as a card-counting team for fun (and profit), and have been quite successful, if their life-time bans from multiple casinos are any indication. In fact, notice the title of their handout.

Image courtesy of @missfword

We just finished up Special K!, a 30-year old Kellogg tradition that is a revue show that encompasses musical, dance, and theatrical talent with a humorous (hysterical, if you take my biased opinion) view of Kellogg life, soaked in a strong dash of Kellogg culture. The show was a raging success, judging on the feedback we have gotten, and part of what made it so special was the outstanding level of participation by professors. In particular, we had reached out to a number of (quite rockstar) professors, who obviously could have spent their time in many other ways than hanging around us and rehearsing lines to sing with us. Furthermore, other professors were willing to appear in our video shorts, and an even larger number bought tickets to the show, brought their family, emailed out to their students in an outstanding show of support. Yes, Kellogg professors do great research and teach well, but they also have no qualms about poking fun of themselves, have great senses of humor, and are 9 times out of 10 willing to go the extra mile for their students. That's what makes them top notch.

Tim Calkins writes a fantastic blog about happenings in the marketing world, Gad Allon (current Professor of the Year, the highest ) tweets to his students (quote of the day: "Real men use matlab.") and David Besanko sends out relevant, thought-provoking emails to his students on current affairs for no reason other than to stretch our thinking and challenge our preconceptions. I'm lucky enough to be taking Calkins and Besanko this quarter (both HIGHLY recommended) and hopefully I will be able to take Allon's OpStrat next year.

Just wanted to shine a light on something probably less often talked about Kellogg. We have an amazing, fun, student-led culture with clubs & activities up the wazoo, but we have faculty worth going to class for too.

(Chinese) New Year's Resolution (effective immediately)

2010-01-27T19:55:00.003-06:00

I don't really believe in New Year's Resolutions. It seems really pointless to me to wait until a specific date to try to improve yourself. Therefore, when I come up with a change I'd like to initiate in myself, I want to start right away, and don't bother announcing or labeling it as a resolution. However, with this particular item, I want the world at large to help, so in honor of the next upcoming New Year, I am labeling it my (Chinese) New Year's Resolution:

I resolve to be friendly to everybody. This means a genuine smile and greeting to people I know, or who greet me.

The reason this comes up is because 1. I'm trying to shield myself from the crankiness and frustration I feel creeping in from the ongoing recruiting and 2. I know at even my 2nd quarter, I am starting to develop impressions of other people, suppositions of their feelings towards me, and expectations (both positive and negative) of their future behavior. In other words, I find myself writing people off. This is good from a time management perspective - why waste time and valuable hurt feelings on people you think have already written you off or with whom you have no meaningful connection. However, I think I'd like to retain my youthful optimism a bit more. Part of this is I'm curious as to how strong the self-fulfilling prophecy really is, and part of this is just me wanting to be an overall better person.

So there you have it. If you walk by me and I don't smile and say hi, you are fully entitled to kick me in the crotch.

Consulting interview preparation process

2010-01-27T19:09:00.005-06:00

Quick note from the trenches (because yes, it's a warzone out here):

I wish I had the time or the energy to do a better deconstruction of the consulting recruiting process, but as usual, one of my fellow bloggers has done a fantastic job of summing up the experience to date.

So I wanted to post one of the first "regrets" I've had (or better put, "something I wish I had known"). In true wannabe consulting style, I've decided to present the information in chart format.

Formal networking comprises of company presentations, meet and greet nights, and dinners. Informal networking is time spent in coffee chats, composing emails reaching out to alumni, and informational interviews via phone or person. Interview preparation includes case and fit preparation.

Overall, Orlando is right - the amount of time and energy it takes to get through this is hard to fathom. There is no way I can give an accurate number, but if pushed to guess I would say I have spent over 150 hours on the overall process, and this is on top of a full load of classes and a spate of extracurriculars. I also think I am probably around the middle of the distribution, I know people who have put far more time, effort, and thought into this process than I have.

Looking at my pie charts, it seems like a no brainer. "Duh Cow, you should have put more time into interview prep." What is harder to convey though, is the swiftness with which interviews descend upon you after your return from winter break. If you consider that the networking components stretch out across 3 months while the interview prep basically happens in 2 weeks time, it becomes easier to see how this happens.

I'm not sure that there is one right solution, because many people give the advice to do no prep prior to or during winter break. However, here are some thoughts of mine:

The CMC places FAR too much emphasis on networking for people who are hardcore about consulting. The main purpose of networking is to get on the closed list, and consulting companies interview massive numbers of candidates. If you have a reasonably strong background and have made some effort at reaching out, there are diminishing returns to continuously meeting new people. Instead, meet and cultivate a few trustworthy contacts who will give you the inside scoop on the firms.
Even if you don't make the closed list, the bidding for the open spots (of which there are many) for the major firms goes for some nominal sum (I think ~60pts this year). Bid freely - for reference, I have yet to use any of my 800 points.
Get to know yourself over break. I know it's painful and it sucks, but be able to explain the bullets of your resume in detail and know (and be able to articulate) the few key questions: What's your story? Why consulting? What are your strengths and weaknesses? I know I would have been well served if I had taken the time to do this over break, instead of sitting on my couch, watching football while eating Cheezits. Fit still seems to be an afterthought to case, in terms of both advice given by the second years and preparation made by the first years. This is a huge mistake.
Although the number of cases varies significantly by person, there is value to doing enough of them that you have seen if not all then the majority of different "types" of cases, ie. profitability, growth, new market, m&a, supply chain, etc... This will take around 20-30 cases. KNOWING THIS, think about when interviews start, what pace you want to do cases at (1 a day? 5 a week?), subtract one week for buffer, and pick a start date to do cases. For me, this would have been before school started. I definitely was doing more cases than I was able to absorb learning from in order to get the practice I needed in time - this was not only inefficient but stressful. I would have much rather started case prep earlier, and given myself more time to adjust to what really is quite frankly a different way of thinking.
Lastly, I want to stress this: There is NO ONE RIGHT WAY to "crack" a case. I feel like I just now felt things click this week, after my first 2 interviews (which I obviously did not do well at). The reason is because I had been getting tons of well-intentioned, really good advice and watching some really phenomenally smart people go through cases, and was trying to mimick them, their frameworks, and their thought processes. I could get through a case this way with some reasonable amount of success, but the process felt artificial and when I got stuck I got REALLY stuck. A few nights ago, I was deconstructing some case examples when I realized I had been making it far too complicated on myself. My way of doing cases is not to memorize a set of frameworks and run through a list of probable causes in my head - it's to understand the problem and identify the information necessary to construct a solution. It sounds stupefyingly simple, but by relieving the pressure to be "collectively exhaustive, blah blah" I know at least _I_ feel much more comfortable driving a case now, rather than feeling like I'm wandering through a maze to which I can't see the end. The thing that's a shame to me is that I wish I could practice a bit more now that I've found my stride, but there really is no time or energy with interviews happening everyday, so I'll just know that if I don't make it this year, I'll have a better approach come full-time recruiting.

Anyway, it appears I'm incapable of writing a "quick note" or anything that doesn't turn into a novel, but that's about the extent my brain can produce today. I hope that this was helpful; recruiting can be beastly and intimidating, especially for those of us who haven't interviewed for a job in at least 5 years - but it really doesn't have to be. Please understand this is only one cow's opinion and in no way reflects the views of the herd at large. As always, YMMV.

Not just surviving but thriving

2010-01-08T18:04:00.003-06:00

Today, as I met with a friend in the LSR, he greeted me with a broad smile. "You know, Bain and BCG both let me know they just love me so much, they want to offer me a spot. We just have to go through some formality of 2 rounds of interviews before it gets finalized." This is a friend that I'd gotten to know well during Ski Trip, and man did he make my day.

Even walking to a recruiting event later this afternoon, thinking about his statement had me grinning. If there ever was the right mindset to take about this ambiguous, impossibly-heavy-workloaded, and intensely stressful quarter, this guy has got it. We stand at roughly the halfway point of the intricate recruiting mating dance; most of the applications were due today at 5pm (another spate is due next week), and today the first wave of the closed list invites were sent out. I'm not going to rehash an explanation of the Kellogg on-campus recruiting process when an alum has already done an excellent job of giving one, but suffice to say today was a big milestone for those looking at consulting (which recruits 2-3 weeks earlier before other industries). There is still a long, long sleep-deprived way to go as we rush through the next two weeks trying to prepare for interviews, but from listening in on the buzz going around, the majority of students are satisfied with their responses.

I know the next few weeks are infamous for the tension and worry that spreads around the Atrium like an infectious disease, but I also remember the incredible amount of focus given last quarter to, in retrospect, silly things. It turns out, people I know got closed listed whether their grades were good or mediocre, whether they attended every single networking event or didn't attend a single one, whether they brought the wrong company's umbrella or not. I'm not going to say hard work didn't matter, because that would be silly. But I don't think the recruiting process deserves the amount of obsession that 500+ Type A's crammed in a small space give it.

I think one of the most important things I have gained [and will continue to gain] at business school has been perspective. Some of it has been self-discovered, some of it has been bestowed upon by friends, and some of it has been forced upon me by circumstances I would never wish for but have learned from regardless. As I learn to keep things in perspective, I find that I am learning to let go of things that don't matter, keep my sanity, and that it is truly a skill to be able to roll with the punches and adapt. There is a LOT of advice heaped upon first years regarding what to do/not to do, from the CMC, advice websites, second year mentors, peer students, etc... I say take all of it with a grain of salt. Everybody is well-meaning, but in the end, do what feels right, natural, and comfortable to you.

All of us will survive the recruiting season. I dare us to face it not as an obstacle, but as a gateway. For that's what it is, a gateway: to career improvement, professional development, financial security, whatever it is we came for. This quarter will be a real test for me; I don't think I have ever tried to do so much in so little time before in my life. But I am not fearful, I am excited. Because I know, 5 years ago, I would have fallen apart under the workload, lost my sense of humor under the strain. Now, I am challenging myself to not only make it through, but do it while staying (as my ex-boss put it) "bouncy." Because I know if I can stay positive, truly be smiling throughout the next few weeks, then success will naturally follow.

The things I do to put off real work

2009-12-07T20:45:00.002-06:00

Got bored and made a new header for my blog.

Motivation

2009-12-05T22:24:00.001-06:00

Motivation, originally uploaded by busicow.

As cheesy as it is necessary to get me through my first finals week in 7 years.

Are you a Nikki or a Brittany?

2009-12-05T03:03:00.004-06:00

It has been a whirlwind of a quarter, and I cannot believe final exams begin in 2 days. I had several posts regarding Kellogg, some even mostly written, but for various reasons ended up shelving them. Tonight however, in lieu of sleeping, I wanted to post, but surprisingly, this has nothing (or very little) to do with Kellogg.

One of my heroes growing up was Nancy Drew, girl detective. I loved her fearless feminism and the thrill of the mystery, and at a young age I had wheedled my parents into buying all 56 volumes of the original mystery series. I quickly ran through them, and after multiple reads was still hungry for more, so I stumbled upon a spin-off series, also by Carolyn Keene, called River Heights. Although not about Nancy, River Heights was a young adult series about Nancy's hometown and next door neighbor, and I was quite happy to dive in. I was disappointed that Nancy Drew did not feature in the series, besides a few guest appearances, and instead of mysteries the books showcased friendships and romances. I don't think I ever read past the first few books before moving on, but I remember being fascinated by the description of the tangled relationships in high school, and it has certainly left an indelible print on how I chart my course through social interactions.

The series stars two girls in the same high school, Nikki and Brittany. However, besides sharing the same classes and the same love interest, all similarities end there. Nikki is the classic All-American girl. Born with a silver-spoon in her mouth, she has the perfect life, the perfect family, the perfect angelic countenance and sweet personality. She is of course, a blonde-haired blue-eyed beauty. Which isn't to say Brittany isn't attractive, because she is as well, with her dark hair and brown eyes. But Brittany's life isn't all that easy, and she has had to scrap and fight her way up the high school pecking order. While Nikki received a shiny new convertible from her doting father on her 16th birthday, Brittany secretly waitresses at a disgusting restaurant in order to afford a second hand clunker. Brittany is very much about appearances, and envies Nikki's life and schemes to steal Nikki's [perfect, All-American] boyfriend away from him.

In this fictional world, Nikki is obviously the protagonist. She is kindhearted and virtuous, and naturally very popular. Brittany is popular too, thanks to a combination of her clever positioning and strategic maneuvering. However, I have to admit I always had a soft spot for Brittany. I felt bad when her carefully laid plans went awry, for one reason or another. Furthermore, I admit to sharing righteous indignation over Nikki's life being so effortless. Brittany is certainly not evil - she never sets out to inflict harm on people, she is just trying to get what she feels she deserves. At the same time, she's not exactly noble either - she only ever really looks out for herself and frequently doesn't appreciate what she does have because she always wants something better. I always felt a little guilty for being sympathetic to Brittany's cause, because Nikki was such a perfect angel. Where Brittany tried to plan life like a chess match, Nikki never harbored ulterior motives, and yet somehow always managed to come out on top.

To this day, I am still torn between the two, and who I should be identifying with. I am still cynical over the feasibility of Nikki's model in my world - a world of networking, rubbing elbows, and angling for visibility. And yet, the thought of manipulating relationships is distasteful, and I think "shouldn't I just let things happen naturally?" Brittany tries so hard, and Nikki doesn't try at all, and I'm just really not sure where I should be along that spectrum. I'm not even really sure it is a spectrum; maybe it has to be one or the other, and by trying to balance I am in effect spinning my wheels and going nowhere.

This dilemma presents itself to me frequently. If I'm interested in a guy, what's the right course of action? Brittany would find out as much information as possible about him (in this day and age, probably use Google!), seek out to make friends with his friends, and arrange things so she would coincidentally "run into" him. Nikki? The guy was probably interested in her before she ever knew about his existence! Similarly with networking, Brittany is the one working the room, making sure to make an impression on key decision-makers, whom she has likely done research on already. Nikki is talking to the people enjoys and with whom there is mutual sincere interest. I don't think it's so easy to say that Brittany is the active one and Nikki is simply passive, because Nikki is the genuine one, she is hardworking and true to herself. Shouldn't that the way we all be? If you were friends with Brittany, you would never really know how she felt about you, or what she is trying to get out of you, but she is also the one who is always on the lookout for opportunities, calculating, and with a steely resolve to climb to the top. Surely that should be rewarded?

I aspire to be Nikki, but I wonder if the world rewards Brittanies. I aspire to be Brittany, but then I feel drained, jaded, and I'm not even sure if it's worth it. I try to balance the two worlds, but then I wonder if I'm succeeding at neither.

Just for Bryce

2009-10-05T21:33:00.003-05:00

Since one really good friend (whom I've known for over a decade now, wowza) was asking me how I was, and I wasn't really sure I could adequately describe with mere words, I thought I'd use a graphical depiction. (yes, Orlando did it first)

Click through for a bigger picture. I don't really have a whole lot else to say.

In my element

2009-09-24T20:23:00.005-05:00

“The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.”
-- Albert Einstein

I've seen and heard many people comment, whether on Facebook, Twitter, or in person, on how a major component of business school is calendar management.

I will absolutely agree. In fact, I will put forth that the main activity, and the key to your success at business school is your skill and perseverance at arranging and maintaining your calendar. And just to be clear, people I'm talking Outlook and/or iCal, if you think paper is going to cut it you have another think coming to you. Don't even try it, I know first years who are finding that out the hard way.

So far, I'm keeping up okay, despite shooting myself in the foot last week (more on this below). I may need to reassess when exam time comes, but so far the mad pileup of events, including class, group meetings, social nights, and activities has been thrilling. Right before sitting down to blog, I experienced a moment of incandescent happiness in the middle of cleaning up after dinner, throwing in a load of laundry, sending out a group meeting invite, and examining my fantasy football lineup, just from the sheer joy of knowing I am being productive and that not a single moment is being wasted. Today, as I was griping at bent over my schedule being totally [rhymes with] ducked, he jokingly commented back, "whatever, you love it." Which, upon reflection, is not too far from the truth - of course I would prefer that my schedule is set exactly how I want and perfect, but at the same time there's something satisfying about making progress uphill, about being forced to work for it. Business school is special in a lot of ways - for most of us, it is the last time we can look inwards. It is the last time we can focus on developing ourselves; it is the last time we can start with a clean slate; it is the last time we can take a break from the real world (a la Girl, Interrupted); it is the last beginning of the rest of our lives. Being surrounded by so many smart, diverse, and talented people who are [for the most part] going through this same experience at the same time definitely pushes you to keep up, reach up, and make the most of everything.

I'm late, I'm late, I'm late....
Which is not to say it's all been smooth sailing - I am embarrassed to say that I have been one of those annoying "one step behind the curve" nincompoops lately, especially with regards to my schedule. I skipped past the waiver period, thinking I would cruise through my first quarter classes, most of which is essentially review material, in order to load up on the clubs & leadership activities. Then, two things happened to knock my plan on its butt: 1. I transferred to the MMM Program. 2. I bought the accounting books, went to the first class, and realized it was exactly the same stuff as I studied before. Of course, I'm not complaining about either, and they're also very related. I was fortunate to get into the MMM Program so late; I took a long time because I wanted to really research the program to find out if it would be the right thing for me. After bent planted the seed in my head, I talked to a number of 1st & 2nd years, emailed some 2nd years and alum (including people who had both transferred in AND out of the program), and got to where I was very comfortable with the idea before submitting my application. Of course then the application took a while to go through, with the end result my schedule was upended the first week of class. Furthermore, the loss of 6 electives also made me rethink my course selection strategy, and there was no longer any doubt over not wasting a quarter reviewing basic accounting. By this point the waiver period had long passed, and so I spent no small amount of time talking myself into being allowed to take the waiver exam, and then all of yesterday studying for it. I've also spent significant amount of time looking for a class to replace it with, ie. arguing with the registrar over me not being able to add into Marketing (because I've missed the first class); I then went to Spreadsheet Modeling today before the MMM director nixed that class. In the end, (assuming I obtain the waiver) I'll end up adding Microeconomics, after missing the first week. So not great, but not the end of the world. I think it's ironic, because I've never been the person to try to be "the exception to the rule," and I generally disdain the type, and wonder why they just couldn't get their act together in the first place. But business school will do that to you, and then you realize you've got to at least try. I've met with mixed results; there's a certain element of luck, where I've definitely been very fortuitous in some things falling my way (such as getting into MMM), but also I think I've mellowed a good deal these last few years. I remember when I was younger, I would come apart when things did not go as I wanted. I would assign blame heavily on myself and others and lash out like a wounded animal, unable to cope with the injustice of it all. I'm sure this is trite to many people, but I've realized the best part of aging is the perspective that comes with it. Now, whatever is the best schedule I can get, I'm happy to roll with, especially since I will have a very full plate regardless.

I'll take one of everything, please...
The last 10 days, we have been absolutely bombarded with emails and flyers, with club kickoffs and leadership position applications. I am still trying to control my FOMO, and have met with limited success in restraining myself. Here's a tentative list of my commitments (with estimated time reqs) so far:

. NBI Project Leader (applied, will hear back next week) 5 hrs/wk
. GIM Leader (interviewed today, encouraged to take leadership role for SE Asia trip, still under consideration) 4 hrs/wk
. Admissions Counselor (interview tomorrow) 4 hrs/wk
. Consulting Club member (moderate involvement) 1 hr/wk
. China Business Club (limited involvement)
. Operations Management Club (limited involvement)
. Design Club (limited involvement)
. Latin American Hispanic & Iberian Management Association (limited involvement)
. Asian Management Association (limited involvement)
. Section Flag Football Team (conflicts with Admissions Counselor)
. Tennis Club
. Los Angeles Entertainment & Media Trek Leader

Believe it or not, I've already trimmed the list significantly from my initial wishlist. I definitely have the "eyes bigger than stomach" syndrome, as we say in Chinese. So here are what I think are the next steps for me.

Learn to say no: This is a big one. So far, I have mostly been accepting calendar invites as they come. But time is by far the most precious commodity around here, and I need to learn to budget mine wisely. It's funny, I think about how in undergrad I had all the time in the world and no will to study. Now, I yearn only for a few extra hours of wakefulness, so that I may cram my little brains out.

Remember to take care of myself and have fun: After tracking my time, it is blatantly obvious that the first thing that slips is things like eating balanced meals, exercising, and giving myself time to decompress. That just won't work; as a friend of mine so astutely pointed out, "Some people just have better genes." I am definitely not one of those people, who can stay up all night and be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed the next day. If I eat crappy and don't sleep, I will break out like a hormonal teenager, hurt like an arthritic old lady, and whine like one of those girls on reality TV. I sound so lame but I really cherish my health, especially after one of my good friends has recently been diagnosed with leukemia. I need to remember that nothing's worth sacrificing my health for, especially on days like today (when I went from 7am-1pm before eating anything). That's where this whole perspective thing I talked about earlier comes to play; it's true we're all Type-A and competitive, but in the end, I know the worst case scenario is I go barista at Starbucks and live a low-key existence, which when all is said and done, isn't so bad at all.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to work my calendar.

“Don’t count every hour in the day, make every hour in the day count.”

Mi.cro.man.age

2009-09-11T23:26:00.000-05:00

I have several unfinished posts about the romp through paradise that was KWEST, the chaos, insanity, and madness that was CIM (really, they should rebrand it as that - Chaos, Insanity, & Madness) and the odd combination of intense pleasure and unsettling discomfort of being a student again, having my frameworks challenged and my cognitive processes pushed to their limits.

Instead, since I can't seem to get a single blog post finished before something shiny catches my attention (or more likely, I suddenly realize I'm behind on something else, yet again), I spent some time tonight thinking about time management. Today was a real milestone, the last day of CIM, and as such we have been granted a brief reprieve. We are still in the middle of a pre-term class, and there is much reading, homework, and studying to do but most of the other activities will drop off for a week before Fall term kicks off.

In the last 2 weeks, I have already experienced much of what has been documented by generations of Kelloggers before us: FOMO, piles of reading, endless social calendar, CIM-SARS (or CIM H1N1 as it was for us this year), group meetings that drag , and as a result my iCal has been bursting at the seams and I have felt frantic and harried. And that was just the first two weeks, when 79% of our activities did not matter! There has to be a better way, because that is definitely will not be sustainable when I have 4 classes + NBI + GIM leadership + consulting club + networking & recuriting + + +

I decided to budget my time, but I wanted to go a step further. Budgeting does no good unless I can compare against actuals (I've read many times that people are invariably surprised by what they actual spend their time doing) and then adjust either my expectations, my plan or my behavior. So I turned to the internet, and found a little time tracking tool that I can access from my iPhone at all times, I have put my categories in, and I plan to start measuring my time.

I have no idea how realistic this will be to keep up in the long term, but I feel I should at least give it whirl before classes start to at least see what my actual behavior is producing. Regardless of longevity, even if I can just get a week or two of data of how I spend every minute of every day will be eye-opening and motivate me to make behavioral corrections. Lastly, the budget was absolutely necessary; without solidly carving out time to exercise or maintain my network I know those would quickly fall by the wayside. If you are curious, here is my first draft of the ideal use of a 168 hour week:

Style

2009-08-18T01:16:00.000-05:00

style |stīl|
noun
• a manner of doing something : different styles of management.
• a way of using language : he never wrote in a journalistic style | students should pay attention to style and idiom.

- excerpt from the New Oxford American Dictionary

The first time I heard the word "style" applied in a business context was also the first time I had been given meaningful criticism in the workplace and I remember feeling like I had been punched in the gut. My ex-supervisor (and current mentor) had said: "You are a star, but you need to work on your style. You are very impatient and it shows to your coworkers. Many times your message is accurate but your impatience gets in the way and you end up antagonizing the people you work with. Don't worry, you will get there - just relax and give everybody else a chance to catch up to you." I remember her also giving a few examples of my missteps and mentioning that self confidence would help improve my style. This was 5 years ago, but it has stayed with me to this very day, because it was as sincere as it was accurate.

Since then, I have tried to be a bit more self-aware, and a big area I have focused on and will continue to work on throughout b-school is this concept of "style." I am a strong believer that there is no one style that is the best; everybody is unique. Rather, the right style for you is one where you are comfortable in your own skin, one where you capitalize on your strengths and minimize your weaknesses. For me, the end goal is to communicate effectively. However there are many different ways to do this. Donald Trump may be the in-your-face authoritarian, but Meg Whitman has been described as "matronly," and using influence rather than force. I don't think you can say there is a "right way" or "wrong way," as both CEOs have achieved legendary professional success, but certainly one of the methods may gel more with you than the other. When I was an undergrad, I tried to shape myself into what I thought was the cookie cutter mold of a leader. I ended up feeling unnatural, and worse, unsuccessful. Rather than trying to force myself to act in ways I find contrived, I will concentrate on exploring and finding what works for me. I have no illusions that this will be a decades-long if not lifelong process.

Like I often tend to do, I have managed to write this post backwards, as what sparked this cogitation was a comment made to me last night, as we were passing stories back and forth over drinks. I have rarely heard other people use "style" in the same way as I do, but this definitely got me thinking:

Classmate: "----, your talking style is very much like an entertainer's."
Me: "Is this good or bad?"
Classmate: "It's very good."

Certainly the first time I have heard anything in this vein as an observation of me, and I'll admit to being really surprised. It just shows that often, your own views of yourself are as one-sided as others' views of you. I look forward to discovering out more about myself and my style in the next 2 years, and I hope my fellow classmates feel the same.

Laziness sets in

2009-08-07T21:42:00.000-05:00

I was planning to write a short synopsis of my experience at Procter & Gamble's Marketing Camp, but fellow brand camper Tak seems to have done it for me.

I did have a couple of things I wanted to add though:

Procter & Gamble: Ever since I read "Built to Last," I knew P&G was a special company. The week-long experience simply reaffirmed it. The success of the company has been built on it's strong relationship with it's employees, and this bleeds through in every aspect: strong company culture, absolutely dedicated employees, commitment to training, etc...

Recruiting: Holy garlic-crusted steak Batman, did the stops get pulled out for us. It feels like we were on an all-expenses paid "best of Cincinnati" tour. There were steakhouses, sushi bars, martini clubs, and game nights; the company definitely spared no expense in making sure we had a good time. Obviously there was ulterior motive here; it is in their interest that we feel fondly about not only P&G but also Cincinnati (their worldwide HQ) but it was certainly an enjoyable week. I had forgotten that even as we as students compete, primp, and prepare to land a plum job, companies are also competing with each other to nab the cream of the crop.

MBA Preparation: The flip side of being wined and dined was a lot was expected of us as well. The schedule for the days of the week inevitably started at 7am sharp, and none of the days ended before midnight. It was a pretty good simulation of what b-school will be like, and definitely a kick in the pants that I needed to get back into gear. While there were many sleepless nights at the beginning of our startup phase, I'll admit the last few months after I submitted my notice were uneventful, as I mainly transferred work off my desk and maintained status quo. In Cincinnati, as we juggled scheduled events, mingling, case study, group work/presentation, and interview preparation I was reminded that the next 2 years will be flying by at a frenzied pace, and I need to be prepared for it.

A. G. Lafley: I still have a hard time believing that the (ex) CEO (but still current chairman) of one of the largest companies in the world took time out of his day to speak to 40 people who may or may not work for his company. It wasn't so much of a speech, as a back and forth discussion on leadership. He was very low key, yet undoubtedly a great leader and manager; I think I admire him more for being not the outspoken, charismatic stereotype, but instead quiet and even introverted (his words, not mine). In case you are interested, here are the 8 points he touched upon.

1. Know yourself.
2. Change is inevitable.
3. See things as they are.
4. Respect your consumer as boss.
5. Power of choices (strategy & execution).
6. Leaders develop and select co-leaders.
7. Leaders communicate.
8. Be yourself. Be comfortable. Be confident.

I don't think there's anything groundbreaking there, but it was obvious this man not only believes in but practices those 8 missives, and thus has found the success he has. It was very apparent that the head of P&G has internalized and then executed these fundamentals, as they pervade the entire company. Two of the key things I took away were 1) Between 1 & 8, it is much easier said than done, and yet there is nothing more important... always keep at it. 2) A plan is no good until it is executed.

Tomorrow will be my last day in Los Angeles; I fly Tuesday, so the blogging may be a bit sparse until I ... well, find a place to live, for starters.

Once upon a time a businesscow was eating breakfast and blogging

2009-08-04T23:47:00.000-05:00

So here is the continuation of my post from last week, as I continue my liquid diet after having my (very last, thank goodness) wisdom tooth pulled out yesterday - I am surviving entirely on chocolate milk, pudding, and apple sauce for a few days.

I think a universal question that is struggled with by bloggers is how much of yourself to reveal on the internet. At the onset, anonymity is a comforting thought ... but while it is certainly safer to remain an amorphous blobby presence, one of my realizations last week is that much of what I would like to talk about would not resonate with others without them knowing a little bit more of my background. I have decided to share a bit more of myself, and will try to present information that will be relevant to the contents of this blog without spelling out my life's history entirely. I know this won't be finished in one-shot, but I will certainly give it a start now. Since one of my goals is to reduce rambling both orally and in my written work, without further ado I present some cliff notes of the modern businesscow to you below.

. I took a non-traditional educational path.
. The expectations placed upon me by my family and support groups are exceedingly high.
. I have a fear of homogeneity, which is how I ended up with a business degree.
. I am intensely ambitious.
. My work background is in analysis and operations.
. I postponed business school for 2 years to help my previous company get a subsidiary started up in China. It was worth it, a total life-changing experience.
. A core strength of mine, whether I like it or not, is my bicultural & bilingual knowledge combined with my international experience.
. I am a problem solver, a do-er, and am still learning to curb my impatience.

I also have a fear of being documented, which is why it has taken me now 2 days to finish this short post! However, hopefully now it will be easier to understand where I am coming from when I talk about things like my struggle with what career path I should go down, or my frustration at what I feel is the very disingenuous process of interviewing and recruiting (all future posts, I'm afraid).

Rewind and Reframe

2009-07-28T21:56:00.000-05:00

Please note that as I type this I am in the middle of one of my most sleep deprived weeks in recent history (certainly in the last 6 months) and I am supposed to be preparing for an interview on Friday. Of course, instead, I am blogging.

I get a lot of ideas throughout the day for blogging, particularly when I am running recurring issues through my head; unfortunately, less than 25% of them end up being written up. This seems to happen especially when I shower, a time I have noticed my brain is most active because I am not multitasking or being distracted by the outside world, and instead do nothing but let the thoughts flow freeform through my head. Tonight, in the shower, I thought about all of the things I wanted to blog - the intense week I am experiencing through P&G's MBA Marketing Brand Camp, the incredible dynamic of putting 40 Type-A, brilliant, diverse MBA admits in a small space and giving them an open bar, my dilemma of career path and the infinite number of inescapable, tough choices that lay ahead, etc, etc...

I definitely feel a lot of these thoughts could be shared on my blog, and others could relate or find insight or give advice, but part of the reason I never post the majority of them here is because they are messy, complicated, and lengthy strands, all tangled together, not exactly compact sound bites that I can put up and have make sense. However, I do think I can do a better job than I have been, and to begin I need to several things: identify what the scope of this blog is, and then explain my background some more and thus give the necessary context to my thoughts.

This blog centers around 3 main issues, which are certainly interconnected, but do not always synchronize. The first is obviously business school, which for me and many others is a major life change which has already started to take place. It is happening, it is huge, and it will be my life for the next 2 years; example topics that this includes are class choices, technology involved, and activity levels. Obviously the reason for going business school is to progress in my career; career is the second main topic discussed and while there is great linkage and overlap with business school, it does occupy different real estate in your thoughts. This is the longer-term plan. Then the last issue, and what is the ULTIMATE plan, is lifestyle. Because long after you have graduated business school, long after you have retired, you will (hopefully, especially in this day & age of medical advances) still be alive. But you will also be alive in the meantime, and my blog, and others like mine, will ultimately present the intersection of these 3 lanes - b-school, career, and lifestyle.

Now what makes all of our blogs different, and is the biggest shaper of what gets published on here, is perception of self. To understand what I hypothesize, what I ask, what I promote, it is necessary to gain a little bit of understanding about ME - my passions, my dreams & aspirations, my preferences and my personality. Yes, I want to go to business school, have a great job, and be rich & powerful, but I also want to stop global warming, promote compassion across cultures, improve the lives of those around me, and more, things that have nothing to do with business school per se, but will nevertheless influence the choices I make while I am there. I call it perception of self, because what defines a person varies from person to person (the eternal question of the meaning of life) but others will call it passions, personal views, whatever works for you.

My point is, after determining the scope of what I am discussing, the next step is to know what kind of lens I am viewing said topics through (everybody's perception of truth is different, ne?); then there can be a greater understanding of what is said, which then leads to the thoughts and responses provoked from the sharing of ideas becoming deeper and more rewarding.

Hopefully that made sense. Unfortunately it's past midnight here, and I am already about 8 hours behind in sleep debt, so the actual topics I'd like to discuss will have to wait til next time, but as they say, the first step is always the hardest; I believe the best is still yet to come.

How to explain Twitter to your parents

2009-07-26T08:21:00.001-05:00

First post on the iPhone!

A couple weeks ago in my post about technology I mentioned that I signed up for Twitter, but was dubious of the benefits. However, like so many before me, in the short amount of time I have been using it, I have become addicted. I listened in yesterday on an amusing conversation between my parents as they tried to understand what Twitter is and why it is popular:

Mom: ... I saw it on Twitter.
Dad: What's Twitter?
Mom: It's like a blog, but limited to only 140 characters, I don't see the point...
Dad: What's a blog?
Mom: Like email, but on a website.
Dad: So why not just use email?
Mom: *gives up*
Dad: These young people, just need to do something different, they think it's cool

Anyway, this one is for you, Mom.

On the surface, the value of 140 character blurbs seems superficial at best, and pointless at worst. Yet particularly with the addition of links, helped by bit.ly or other link truncators, Twitter becomes a way to share ideas with a large group of people, quickly and easily. Simply put, it facilitates the fast transition of ideas. The character limit is a reflection of both our collective reduced attention span and the fast pace that information moves nowadays. Quick replies are possible through Twitter, but longer, more in-depth analyses are to be held on another platform, such as email or blogs, in order to keep the discussion moving in the Twitterverse. As a reader, rather than being constrained to the views of some distant journalist, I am allowed to see at a very quick glance the thoughts of my peers. In this respect, I feel there is significant overlap with a well-compiled RSS feed, but the simplicity and ease of Twitter means there are far more Tweeters than bloggers.

Behind enemy lines

2009-07-18T14:19:00.000-05:00

I probably should have mentioned that the wedding I was going to was in Fontainebleau, a suburb outside of Paris, and incidentally, the groom just graduated from INSEAD.

Because both the bride & groom are my good friends, I'll admit the above had completely slipped my mind - unsurprisingly, I was instead worrying if I had enough time to buy a new dress, since I had been given a role in the ceremony. However, during the wedding I got to meet a good number of INSEAD graduates and students, and did get some brief impressions.

- The recruiting this year was brutal. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I heard a story about not just one but many companies who held interviews only not to take any students. More than one student was told by the big consulting companies that there were no positions available in the US. Period. More than one student in the January intake have forgone their internship (in the sense that looking for an internship is futile) to do something else, such as language study or travel.

- The one year (actually 10 month) program just whizzes by. I'm constantly reminded of the trifecta of Courses - Recruiting - Networking, the difficulty of juggling and balancing the three, and I can't imagine the intensity of getting it all done in less than a year. I'm glad I'm doing 2Y.

- At least for INSEAD, it seemed like the closest bonds are formed through outside activities & shared living. I visited Tavers, a beautiful old chateau that was converted into 8 or 9 student apartments, and located in a forest by the Seine. I'm told that they regularly host corporate-sponsored dinners (some of which have dropped off, unfortunately) and also crazy parties there, with 300 people coming for the Halloween party.

- I think INSEAD's language requirement (2 to get in, 3 to graduate) gives their students a huge competitive advantage. This is unsurprising considering their international brand name and prestige. One of my goals is to study Spanish during my time at Kellogg; speaking of which, I need to figure out how to enroll in the NW undergrad language class.

- The b-school world can be a surprisingly small place. At least 2 people I met have close friends who are in my class; I look forward to meeting them.

Procrastination Multiplication

2009-07-17T05:39:00.000-05:00

Rather than doing anything remotely useful (productivity wise), I instead decided to celebrate quitting my job by doing something I have wanted to do for the last 10 years. For the last 5 weeks I have been crossing the globe, the long way around, and next week I will finally fly back to the US.

Although I will admit waking up in a cold sweat choked by the worries of things I am putting off, for the most part, the beauty of what I have seen has overwhelmed my guilt. I won't wax too poetic; I will only say that international travel is enjoyable, eye-opening, and fulfilling, and I highly recommend it. It has definitely been worth it.

Of course, what ends up happening is I end up in situations similar to today. As I type this, I am in Paris, packing my bag (for about the 20th time), preparing for my friend's wedding tonight, and deciding on my first quarter course. Which is going to be Turbo Finance, not because I've thought this out thoroughly (because I haven't) but because I enjoy challenging myself and better the first quarter (when there's no recruiting) than the second (which has been described as an exercise in sleep deprivation and despair). On a side note, in China, 4's are considered unlucky number because the pronunciation sounds like "to die." So there you have it, if you're in 440 I'll see you there.

For those who haven't decided yet, I can contribute some wisdom from a lovely lady a year ahead of us, who had a strong finance background:

"Turbo... I definitely shied away from it, I'm glad I did. First quarter is pretty tough in itself, and Turbo is LOTS of work from what I hear. LOTS. BUT - the upside to it is that you'd rip the bandaid off and finish it quickly. I took both Fin 1 and Fin 2, and I enjoyed both classes. Turbo is literally the two classes combined into one, so you will still learn all the same material."

She did send me the syllabi for her Fin 1 & 2, I'll be more than happy to forward them on to you if you're interested. She also mentioned:

"--Second, CIM is going to be the craziest three weeks of your life. EVER. You won't have time to do anything during it... literally. So get yourself settled and moved in all before CIM starts. There will be no time to do anything but sleep and be at school during CIM. I totally thought I would finish unpacking during CIM... and I didn't get to doing it until Thanksgiving break! :) Also, everyone gets really really sick during CIM, so make sure to take your vitamins during it, every little bit helps!

--Third, I didn't really do this too well, and I would recommend it... Give your friends and family a head's up that you're going to be ridiculously busy. I know, sounds crazy, right? I had to spend the first few weeks of school trying to convince my friends that I didn't forget about them. Some got used to it, some didn't. It's just one of those things that really caught me by surprise. I figured, hey, I was in banking, I can handle balancing non-Kellogg friends with the b-school schedule! I was kind of wrong. :) Don't get me wrong though, you can still make the time, it's just tougher than I originally thought."

Progress is dragging me down

2009-06-09T00:36:00.000-05:00

I have been spending the majority of my day finalizing the "switch," as Apple markets it. In other words, I've been bashing my head against the desk while trying to move information from my PC onto my Mac. Outlook, in particular, refuses to play nice with Entourage or Address Book, which is hugely problematic because I have over 600 contact files that I will most certainly not be re-typing by hand.

Also, after reading this short but revealing article from Time Magazine yesterday, I finally caved and signed up for a Twitter account. Whether or not I'll be using it remains to be seen. My first look through the website makes me think it is a fun novelty, but more a time waster than useful tool. However, human curiosity is a powerful force, and the creator of Twitter (who also created Blogger, the very engine I'm typing on now) has managed to harness this force to create [yet another] social network.

Hardware, software, network, whatever... it all boils down to the creation, dissemination, and capture of information. Technology has spawned some powerful tools that have revolutionized the way information is transferred, but it has also stolen our valuable downtime, and often times in trying to simplify our lives makes it a hundred times more complicated.

One of my biggest challenges of transitioning to being a business school student is getting my technological-toolkit ducks in a row. Whereas previously, my laptop, Blackberry, cell phone were all paid for, set up, and maintained by my company, I now have to consider how to most effectively allocate my dollars to provide me the most support through my b-school years. Furthermore, I need to make sure ensure that what I use doesn't conflict, and not only gets the job done but does it quickly and as hassle-free as possible. I've summarized my technology-related decisions and thoughts below.

Computer:
I'll be on my 13" Macbook, upgraded to 4gb RAM & 256gb SSD HD, which I do enjoy greatly, but I know this purchase has been a mistake. I am a big enough geek that I admire the simplicity, superiority, and elegance that permeates Apple's product line, and I had always told myself that if I ever went back to school or started my own business, I would reward myself with a Mac. Although VMWare, Bootcamp, and a large base of open source support has made Mac a way more viable option, innate compatibility issues remain. Whereas before, you flat out couldn't achieve certain tasks, now you can, but it's a gigantic pain in the rear. I still love my Mac, and I know it will serve me well throughout it's lifespan; but if I were to do it again, I would buy another Dell XPS M1330 to serve as my Kellogg workhorse.

Phone:
It is a given that you will be living out of a calendar and a pile of to-do notes during your 2 years at b-school, which makes it imperative to own a smartphone. Here, there is a very defined separation between the iPhone & Blackberry camps, and I definitely fall into the Blackberry one. No matter how sophisticated the touch screen is, it will always be a flat pane fof glass and I need the tactile response of buttons. An even greater reason that I go Blackberry is it is the quintessential corporate powerhouse, combining perfect synchronization with Exchange with a no-nonsense interface and a comfortable, all-in-one package. Web-browsing and games? Not it's forte, and it doesn't even pretend. There are enough custom apps out there to achieve what you want it to do, although of course nothing can compare to the onslaught from devoted iPhone-app programmers. If you enjoy the novelty of tweaking and something endlessly, and/or are a Mac user (perfect synchronization *wistful sigh*) then get an iPhone. If you're serious about getting your email on the run, and want to sync flawlessly with Exchange, get a Blackberry. Disclaimer: I have not used any Windows Mobile phones, due to my inherent distrust of Microsoft and the earlier, clunky builds I encountered. I'm told the newer phones have much improved, and also the Palm Pre sounds pretty good on paper, but I have been so satisfied with my Blackberry I have no inclination to learn a new interface.

Software:
I use Entourage for my school email & calendar (this will be replaced by Outlook for PC users), and I use Apple Mail to deal with my multiple Gmail accounts. I have both Office 2008 for the Mac and Office 2007 on my Windows XP VMWare; just in case, yanno. The Adobe CS3 Suite takes up nearly 10% of my available hard drive space, but has Photoshop, Illustrator, and other invaluable design tools. Adium (Pidgin on the PC) lets me combine the AIM/Yahoo of my college friends, MSN of China friends, and Gchat of my "too lazy to download a chat program" friends all in one messenger program, and log it all to boot. iTunes keeps me happy and productive, and Google Reader lets me stay up to date with everything I care about. Last but not least, Firefox is the best browser in the world, hands down; no other browser lets you "add on" whatever the hell you damn feel like. Open source ftw.

Network:

Facebook - A must to stay connected socially in the modern day world. When I moved from Los Angeles to Shanghai, this let me keep abreast of what was going on with my friends back home, and let them take a peek into my new life. Also, it was used heavily as an event organizer; if you weren't on Facebook, you basically weren't notified that so & so was organizing a party. I imagine Twitter has stolen some of its glory these days, but there's no way a 140-char update log will replace the . The danger is when your bosses (present and/or future) see your beer-kegging way or dominatrix outfit picture album. The easy way to circumvent this: make sure you put nothing potentially embarassing up to public. If you can't seem to manage it, just make your profile private to friends only.

Webboards - Oldie but goodie. Too bad the Kellogg ones don't seem to be used too much. I'm guessing LinkedIn is taking over some of it's turf?

LinkedIn - The up and comer, the Facebook of the corporate world. It reminds me slightly of what Plaxo or Ringo tried to do, but they went above and beyond and seem to be succeeding quite well. I will be interested in seeing how this grows further. I have my doubts about the authenticity of relationships "created" over the net, and is it necessary or even possible to -maintain- existing business relationships via an impersonal website?

Blog - You're reading it now, aren't you? I wonder if I should make it less personal and more corporate, or less free-form and more structured, but in its beginning stages it is more for me and my friends or classmates than the public at large. The idea is to both save my thoughts for later, and also contribute to a small, online pool of knowledge and discussion; I haven't quite warmed up to the idea of a blog as a personal marketing tool. I spend enough time writing cover letters and preparing for interviews that if a company can't accept I may have a life beyond stilted polite business language, well, that's too bad then.

Twitter - First appeared on my radar after my friend received mucho publicity for his website on Twitter trends. I'll admit, the concept seemed a bit "what's the point" to me, but it's prevalence now means I'd be a fool not to at least reserve a user name.

Google Wave - Deserves a mention because it's going to be huge. I'm hoping it will include their existing Google Documents technology, and regardless I look forward to using it as the core of the many group projects that will follow in the next 2 years... oh and the name comes from FIREFLY *swoons* (this is why Google is taking over the world, because they're genius AND badass).

Closing thoughts: It's a lot to keep up with! Information overload, ADD, carpal tunnel syndrome, and Blackberry thumbs are all common ailments in these times (I have them all) and it sometimes feels like I spend more time managing the technology then getting the original use out of it. The next big money maker will be whoever can come out with a seamless, user-friendly interface to manage the many different streams of information ... sounds impossible for sure, with all the different players, each elbowing to be THE source you go to, and not to mention the compatibility and synchronization issues, but that's why whoever figures it out is going to be a multi-billionaire.

Power-leveling

2009-06-04T08:23:00.000-05:00

I wanted to talk today about something which I have learned is very important - having a mentor. I do not come from an impoverished background, nor have I been beset by any especial hurdles, but I was definitely mired in full-blown mediocrity when I discovered mine. Or, as it would be far more correct to say, when she took me under her wing.

We had just gone through a regime change at my company, and none of us in the accounting/finance department knew anything about the incoming CFO. I wish I could say she swept in with gusto, but actually, her entrance was quiet, and marked by her asking us relevant, important questions and then actually taking the time to listen to the answers.

Her style revealed itself very slowly, even as her knowledge of the company grew quickly, and it wasn't until much later that I realized she was the modern-day Superwoman, who juggled a successful executive career with being a talented, social, and caring wife & mother. This lady also was the first person to ever give me a straight, honest assessment of my professional faults, without any sugarcoating whatsoever. To which she then added, "Yeah, you remind me a little of me when I was younger." Along the way, she gave me tips on ways to improve, and then many a chance to prove myself. It was her who convinced me to apply for business school last year, when I was perfectly happy charting my company's explosive growth in the Asia Pacific region. And now it is her I need to thank (yet again), after my company brought in an ethnocentric, cross-eyed director who has alienated half our client base, that I am now on my way to bigger and better things.

I never did anything to deserve her help, never babysat or brown-nosed, and yet she continues to look out for me, giving me insight on my future direction and writing me sparkling recommendations. To this day, I cannot say I am her friend, or even an associate, as we both have long left our original posts and continue to move in vastly different circles. But I know I owe her a lifelong debt, and she will always be a role model.

I talk about this for a few reasons. I think most people, who are in a position of success, probably have somebody (or even more than one) they feel similarly about. For those out there feeling a little lost, I encourage you to think about the people in your life who have looked out for you. Or even those people you know and admire. Don't be afraid to ask them advice; more often than not, you will be pleasantly surprised.

Secondly, "networking," is the word of the century it seems, particularly for those in the business circle. But too often, it connotes having a mile high Rolodex, or meeting people for the sake of meeting people (or the people that the people that the people know ;p). I propose something different. I am looking to cultivate a few, meaningful relationships with people who can be counted on not only to drink with me but to carry me home when I'm drunk. I will never be a social butterfly. I will never want to be able to pass through a room of 300 and call them all by name. But I will be happy having a small, close-knit network of people I can depend on, and who know they can always depend on me. That is my MO.

And lastly, like I mentioned before, I know I owe my mentor a great debt. But it can never be repaid to her, and instead, I will be repaying it to the next generation after me. In the hopes that they will then pass their knowledge and success down to even the next generation after theirs. And so on and so forth, because this is the natural order of things. So for those here like me who have debts (and who doesn't, in America?) I write this to remind myself, and you, to never forget to repay them, no matter how busy or wrapped up in our own lives we may be we owe it to those who have helped us along the way to pass the favor on.

So why did I title this post "Power-leveling?" Because in an RPG, you can either perform the quests yourself, with great difficulty and no small amount of risk to your bodily health, or instead, you can get somebody who's several levels higher to take you through them in half the time, paving the way for you to level faster. It's scary how many gaming analogies I can find in life. And that's the last time I ever reference gaming on this blog, I prom...hope. ^_^

Business School as an MMORPG

2009-06-01T23:36:00.001-05:00

I'll admit to getting a little freaked out today, as I browse the blogosphere and read students comment on the intensity of the first few quarters and the pervasive lack of sleep, with phrases such as "drinking out of a fire hose" and "I knew it would be difficult, but I never imagined to this level." Working as the senior manager of a startup company for the last 2 years, I am no stranger to hard work or overnighters, but I've also given myself time to recuperate between projects and I have always been one of those people who needs 8-9 hrs of sleep a day to be on top of my game.

The whole thing reminds me a bit of an MMORPG, which stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Role Playing Game for you non-geeks out there. As an ex hardcore gamer, I always had a bit of a chip on my shoulder about MMORPGs, because of their lack of parity. In a standard game, such as an FPS, every player starts with the same amount of money and the same access to weapons. Your success in the game is determined primarily by your skill. However, the nature of an MMORPG encourages players to devote their time to the game to gain levels, get better equipment, etc... Which means success stops being determined by skill, and is instead primarily determined by the amount of time you devote to the game. Skill will always be a factor, but in most MMORPGs, it becomes almost negligible. Furthermore, if you are a latecomer to the game, you will never be able to catch up to somebody who has started months before you, as long as they are putting sustained effort into playing.

Back then, as a competitive gamer who had other priorities such as staying on the Dean's List or keeping her full-time job, MMORPGs just didn't make sense. I enjoyed gaming, and while I knew I was missing out on some of the best games, I tried to avoid MMORPGs. I was too competitive to be happy losing to people who had more time, who because they didn't go to work or school had what I perceived as an unfair advantage. Unfortunately, real life is unfair too, and I'll admit to having more than a little bit of envy and resentment for people who can run full throttle on very little sleep. An example is my current general manager, who can stay up until 4am schmoozing clients and be ready for the 7am meeting the next day no problem, repeat ad nauseum for the rest of the week. It's maddening; the man is a machine. Compare that to me after only 3 hours of sleep, when I tend to put my socks on backwards, stumble zombie-like into stationary objects, and come home to discover a rank smell because I've put the cereal in the refrigerator and the milk in the cupboard. Ewww...

Of course I know that I will get out of business school what I put into it. But it annoys me to know my success will be proportional to the amount of time I sink in, no matter how clever I am or what background I have, and following from that, it bothers me to know already that I will not be able to have my cake and eat it too, to ace my classes, network like crazy, and still maintain a regular sleep schedule. The knowledge spurs me to get my ducks in a row now, to start researching and prioritizing before I ever get on campus, while the other half of me is bemoaning the loss of my precious "relax and recharge" mindset I was going into summer with. But it cannot be helped. I have always liked the saying "work smarter, not harder," and by jove, I am going to give it a good shot.

On a side note, does anybody else think Entourage 2008 is the clunkiest, ugliest, most godforsaken software ever created? I really wish there was a better alternative for syncing with Exchange & a Blackberry on the Mac.

Zee Power, Eet Ees Mine!

2009-05-31T22:52:00.000-05:00

In a stroke of genius today, as I was fussing around with my proxy's settings and bemoaning it's slowness, I realized as an incoming student I am already privy to a bevy of goodies that the school provides me (in part via the humongous tuition payments I provide it, of course). Lo and behold, the power of the Kellogg VPN. *cackles maniacally* Up yours, Golden Shield Project! I am drunk with the power!!! Blogosphere beware, I have found a smooth way to connect and will now be updating you with not only my travels and travails but the state of my toenails and my opinion on reality television shows. Oh wait, that's what Twitter is for.

Note: Above is obviously tongue in cheek, as I don't have Twitter (oh, I know, how dare I claim to be a "modern" businesscow) and I don't watch reality telvision shows. But if you are curious, they are bright red, and they suck.

I, like so many others have reported, have failed in my mission to secure McManus housing and now must venture into wide world of unknowns. I am waffling between just securing an available apartment while I'm overseas, and waiting until August when I can actually go smell the drapes and blacklight the sofa covers. This is additionally complicated by the fact I would really like a roommate, but am pretty picky about ... well just about everything. Obviously the danger of waiting is that all the nice places get snapped up, and I'm left with nothing but crap to choose from. Yet, the little devil cow sitting on my shoulder keeps whispering into my ear, "Maybe if you procrastinate long enough, the problem will go away." *rolls her eyes*

My one and only scholarship application has been sent off, and I will now sit on my hands for the next month while I await for a response. The scary part is, despite my griping about the essays, I am well aware that the hardest part if yet to come. I have no consulting experience to speak of, and the last time I even looked at a case study was over 8 years ago. I will need to pick up some books on case interviews and do some intensive studying, and the thought of lugging even more books around with me as I am globetrotting and supposedly enjoying the last of my free days is a bit disheartening. I am however, a bit encouraged by Orlando's in depth account of his own experience with BCG, and hopefully I will be able to draw from his success and navigate my way to a scholarship/internship award.

Now, back to the mundane task of figuring out how to coordinate paperwork from 3 different countries to submit for my healthcare records.

PS. I have just received an email from Northwestern University's BE AWARE YOU'RE UPLOADING (I'm not even joking, it's even been abbreviated to BAYU) service, warning me about the dangers of pirating copyrighted materials. Obviously I forgot to turn off Transmission when I VPN'ed. Le oops. Oh, and as a CYA (another one of those silly acronyms that make me giggle), I was torrenting legal material, such as podcasts. Of course.

Brain so rusty you can hear the creaking coming out of my ears

2009-05-28T23:09:00.000-05:00

Throughout this whole application process, and now as I try to apply for ONE scholarship (I don't think I can muster the energy for anymore) what I've found the most frustrating is my difficulty with writing essays.

Like most other b-school candidates, I learned the art of BS at an early age and used it effortlessly and to my advantage through my undergrad years. But after many moons in the corporate world where writing is limited to scribbling on Post-It notes and the occasional quick email or dry financial report, my ability to generate persuasive writing has waned. Furthermore after living internationally the last 2 years I now feel hard pressed to put more than two coherent, meaningful sentences together.

I've identified a few factors at play here:
1) I now have a more sophisticated BS radar. Writing I would have felt was the epitome of eloquence 5 years ago no longer passes muster; as I become more well-read my standards of acceptable writing seem to have increased. This means I dismiss more of my initial draft as rubbish, unfortunately, increasing exponentially the time it takes to get a simple essay finished.
2) Technological distraction. I cannot work more than 5 minutes without receiving an email or an instant message from a friend, or being compelled to check Facebook or read BBC News ... oh yeah, or post to my blog. ;)
3) Shifting priorities. Although I remain a geek to the core, I have branched out significantly from when I was last a student, and I just don't find it interesting to sit in front of my computer, rearranging sentences to find the perfect cadence. It was easier when I had less of a life, but now I'd much rather be out playing tennis, getting a foot massage while catching up with my friends, or reading a book by somebody who actually has a gift for writing, really.
4) Straight up rustiness. There's no denying this, no matter how many excuses I come up with. I am hoping this is will pass with time, because if not the next 2 years will be very painful for me and my group mates.

That is the most frustrating part, knowing I should be better, have been better in the past, and really must be better at this in order to make it through successfully and still hitting writer's block so bad I feel I need to be physically shook up and down to dislodge it. There's an idea, somebody go find me a trampoline.

The prelude continues

2009-05-25T09:05:00.000-05:00

Once again I find myself blogging rather than doing pressing work which actually really needs to get done...

Last week I had the privilege of attending a local Kellogg mixer and met both alumni and several students in my upcoming class. I will start with the caveat that I am not really "small-talk inclined," and I usually feel distinctly uncomfortable when I go to a mixer where I hardly know anybody. I'm quite a straightforward person by nature, and although I am aware and am constantly reminded that business is about networking and gaining connections, I am quite comfortable with a small circle of friends and have no patience for the inanities usually found at such social gatherings.

Well I must say, I was impressed. I stayed much later than I intended, and I had a really enjoyable time. What stood out the most to me wasn't how friendly or diverse the crowd seemed, although both was true. It was how damn helpful everybody was. A 2008 graduate introduced herself and immediately took the new admits she found under her wing, giving us the scoop on housing, internships, brand management (her field) and recruiting. I also met an eMBA alumnus who immediately offered us a place to stay if we "ever wanted to get out of Evanston." He owns a house 30 minutes north of Evanston (and lives there with his wife, so I'm fairly certain there was nothing fishy about it).

Yes, there was small talk. But with alcohol once again acting as the essential social lubricant, it seemed to me that the people were relaxed, happy to be chatting with each other, and generally enjoying themselves. I left even more convinced I made the right choice to enroll Kellogg.

Also last week, the announcement went out at work about my imminent departure. It has been very bittersweet, explaining to my adopted friends and family why I'm leaving them behind. While it is true that I have been very unhappy during these last months, I am glad I have a great reason for leaving and something to look forward to, because otherwise I can see how I would be persuaded to stay. I need to learn to resolve my guilt complex for being unable to save everybody, as I know the unfavorable changes made were out of my control. But happily, it's onward to bigger and better things. My colleagues are planning a huge farewell bash at an all-you-can-eat-and-drink Japanese teppanyaki, sushi, & sake restaurant. Knowing my company, the drinking will be epic.

There is tons to do, and the window of opportunity for me to get through it all is shrinking rapidly. I'm getting business school at a huge opportunity cost, but even picking and choosing the things I get to do this summer is becoming difficult. Just some of the items on the list are: learning another language, traveling to different countries, making progress on my insanely long reading list, brushing up on accounting & finance, finding housing in Evanston, getting a sorely needed winter wardrobe, attend some pre-MBA seminars, buying investment property, and oh yeah, relaxing and catching up with my friends, some of whom I haven't seen in close to a year. Oh, and learn to play Rock Band, because I must be the only person on the planet who's never played before!

The thing I am trying to keep in mind is to have perspective. In reality, there are no wrong decisions, and it's about prioritizing (god, I use that word way too much) and also finding the balance that keeps you productive but sane.

From then til now

2009-05-21T23:00:00.000-05:00

Looking through the list of over 30 varied, amazing KWEST trips and trying to pick my top 10 was probably the highlight of this week. The low was probably when the enormity of the amount of debt I will undertake to finance my further education. But no matter, onward ho.

Hello and welcome. I am late to the MBA blogging game, having been drowning in work during the application season. The end result was I was only able to submit 4 applications total, later than I had planned at that, and I feel extremely lucky to have been accepted to the Kellogg School of Management, a perennial top 5 school.

Along the way the information, advice, and witty insight provided by other bloggers was invaluable to aiding me in my own process, and I am grateful to those who have shared their journeys. I will be picking up blogging again as a way to chronicle my own journey, to collect my thoughts as I make my way through the next two years, and have somewhere to reflect back on. I have separated this from my personal livejournal as I am not convinced this will stay anonymous, and I would prefer to not have the years of my raging teenage angst exposed to those who know me on a professional level. ;) Having lived with the stifling internet censorship in China for the last 2 years, it feels great to be back in the blogosphere. I realize this is an ambitious undertaking, as I have been forewarned about the intense quarters ahead, with sleep deprivation and hundreds of pages of required reading, but it feels so good knowing I will be back in the free world, that I am determined to exercise my right to blog.

Until next time,
I remain,
faithfully,

BC